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Not necessarily achievements but mine stopped my son from doing things (such as going to the gym) in a covert way. In hindsight, my son was more ostracised and controlled than I was.
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Hi
Yes absolutely in massive ways.Sabotage is my exs prime tool to hurt meIn the past he sabotaged my mental health in cruel ways-turned whole family against me plus health staff then kidnapped our children so they never came back home to me.Then recently when they married I was left out because my ex attended the ceremonies. I missed their childhood and their weddings due to his expert sabotage tactics.
Sabotage for decades and still at it through our small grandchildren using his new wife as a tool to cover his tracks.
When I acieved any exams even my kids played the efforts down learned from their psycho dad.
I know sabotage very well indeed and it takes loads of energy to overcome.
Jupiter x x
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Yes. In many ways. Prevented me from taking on new roles and therefore slowing my career progression, by stopping me going on essential courses by his faked illnesses or latterly through my fear of leaving our child aline with him while I attended.
He went to our child’s school and told lies to headteacher, head of year form tutor and pastoral lead so she didn’t get support she needed until too late. All this done covertly.
Ridiculed our successes for years.
We’re both paying the price emotionally socially and financially. I’ll never get what I could have achieved and she may never reach her full potential all through his actions.
Evil man. Glad he’s out of our lives. -
Perhaps not directly related, but I found that whilst he encouraged me, there were times he reacted / behaved very neutrally or else completely disinterested.
He kept forgetting the date of my graduation (at that time we were physically distant), but said he’d message me and watch the live stream. In most of my graduation pictures I’m standing around holding my phone, as I was waiting for him to text me to perhaps say congratulations, but it never came. He didn’t contact me until the day after, and asked how the ceremony went. He didn’t congratulate me at all, come to think of it.
There’s also been times when I’ve been very enthusiastic about getting into my writing again, and sharing files with him to proof read (he agreed to read them), but sometimes his responses seemed so lacking, as if he genuinely couldn’t be bothered. It’s not like needing flattery and lots of praise, but just a shred of interest.
Again, he wasn’t always like this, he was very hot and cold with me.
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Now that I think of it, the constant push-pull of our relationship has worsened my anxiety, self-esteem and confidence to the point I have hid myself away, haven’t taken on opportunities for advancement. So perhaps this is an indirect form of sabotage. He certainly sabotaged every good thing in the relationship.
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This is a tricky one…he does it ever so subtly. So when it comes to me working which I love he will say in theory of course I support your job. But then whenever it throws up things like me coming home late he is super annoyed and doesn’t want me to work and tells me I am neglecting the family. Sometimes he will put down my job, like it’s not good enough. The other thing I love to do is swimming and I used to do a lot of long distance swimming, now when I have training or swim squad he makes it really hard for me to go, huffs and puffs and has a mood. It doesn’t stop me going but it makes it hard. And he will downplay my achievements, like I could swim that far no problem. Or why didn’t you enter yourself in the fast category and push yourself. Or if I am not swimming (because he has made it hard) he says gosh I don’t know why you have let your swimming slip…
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He verbally trashed every hobby I enjoyed. One is a pretty serious hobby and he was particularly critical of what I produced. I was trying to make it into a business concern but gave up. He’d physically get in the way when I was trying to meet clients trying to make me late to meet them and Id always leave the house in a complete fluster. He once threatened to smash my equipment if I didn’t comply with one of his requests.
I’ve totally lost my confidence in my abilities. -
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My ex sabotaged my birthdays, I was in tears because of him on my last birthday. Ditto Valentines day. I was in hospital having an operation, I was desperate to hear from him, i sat looking at my phone feeling so sad, he did not contact me. He would sabotage my free time when I was doing the hobbies that I enjoy, by sulking and giving me the silent treatment as I was doing independent things. I ended up doing the things I loved much less. He sabotaged my mental peace and made me feel like I was flawed, odd and different.
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