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He was kind for a couple of days – less than that, a day and a half. Now he’s angry with me again. I’m not sure why. Something to do with me not being affectionate enough.
But I’ve been at work and looking after our child so I don’t know when I could’ve been any different.
I’m so tired and so sad. I want this to end but I’m scared to ask him to go because he won’t and it’ll make everything worse. I feel so trapped. He seems to hate me and I can’t escape this. I don’t know what to do anymore.
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He doesn’t need a reason to be angry with you. You could be the most perfect partner and he would still abuse you. It’s not you or what you do, it’s him enjoying abusing you. It makes him feel good to belittle and scare you. His mission is to break you down and destroy you. And it will get worse. Talk to women’s aid about a safe exit plan or having him removed from the property. There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop him abusing you while you stay. It’s just what he is and what he does. Look at the fable about the swan and the scorpion x
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My ex partner used to use that one on me all the time, I don’t love him because I haven’t been affectionate enough or I didn’t kiss him the right way (no matter what was going on for me) and he would be funny with me so I then would go out of my way to be affectionate even when I didn’t want to be. He’d accuse me of having an affair because our lovemaking felt different or because I never instigated it (although it was mostly me that did to keep him happy). I was permanently sad and anxious with the odd day of it being “perfect” and that’s what kept me there but. I only ended it (detail removed by Moderator) ago and the thing that had stopped be talking to him or considering going back (I have twice before) is reading the posts on this forum and watching/reading the recommended material. Only you will know when your ready to leave but staying on here and reaching out to people here will help you get there and stay there. You deserve to be happy and live in peace not sadness. Please keep reaching out
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