Sad he has moved on

[Rainbowsomeplace]

It’s been (detail removed by moderator) that he has been gone. We have children. I see him once a week. He now has a new relationship with his ex from before we were married. He was my everything I loved him. We were together (detail removed by moderator). Now he is with someone else. I wish I had forgiven him and had him back. I’m so sad that they are creating a life together when he was all I ever wanted.

 

[Lisa]

Hi Rainbowsomeplace

I just wanted to show you some support. Sorry to hear about how you are feeling, it is understandably difficult to see him with someone else. If you had of forgiven him, nothing would have changed, you would still be in an abusive relationship which wasn’t good for you or your children, you are safe now and things will start to get better in time.

You deserve to be happy and to move forward. You could look into getting some support from your local service which you can find here https://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/ They may have support groups where it may help to meet people in similar situations. There is also The Freedom Program which you may be interested in, you could sign up to do a course when they start up again or do one online.

Take care and keep posting

Lisa

[KIP.]

There’s every chance he abused her too. Abusers often recycle old victims as its much easier than breaking in a new one. These men never form any kind of deep bond so they find it easy to move on like this. Where we take time to grieve for the relationship and the future we hoped for. There’s a grieving process you need to go through and as Lisa said if you had forgiven him, things would just go back to his abusive ways very soon and it’s destructive for your children as well as you. If you can possibly go zero contact and let a third party deal with him and with visitation, it will make things much easier. Come off all social media and only use text for contact and then only about the children. Now doubt he will be playing the role of Mr Nice. Making sure everyone knows about is ‘wonderful life’. It’s simply just a picture he wants you to see. Behind that picture is the same nasty self serving man he always was. Try writing down all the abusive incidents you remember. What you miss is the fake Mr Nice. He’s not real and just hooks you back in. Things will definitely get easier with time. I thought I’d never recover or move on but when you know about abuse and trauma bonding and they dynamics of abuse, it makes it easier to accept. It was never you. The problem is all his x

[Author]

Posts