Sad Realisations

[Rising Tide]

Hi all, I’m feeling sad today. I have a day to myself and it just feels worse. Like, when I have to be strong at work and around the kids I’m fine. But when I have a quiet moment to myself and I can feel the weight of the burden I’m carrying, it’s just too much. I’m so tired and I’ve lost so much of my core belief that people are essentially good. The realization that my husband has been hurting me, consciously and on purpose, has just completely undermined my whole world view that people are essentially good.

And it’s shaken my belief in myself that I have chosen to marry someone who is so hurtful. How do I ever trust my judgement again? How do I ever believe that someone is a good person again and not just pretending to be good so they can hurt me?

I’m in a support group for survivors, and I know I’ll find the answers to these questions eventually. But today, in this moment of quiet, they are so looming so large it feels overwhelming.

[Swan123]

I am very much in a similar place…though I am hanging onto the belief by the skin of my teeth that people are essentially good…what turns some of them into abusers isn’t for us to energise over…consolidate what energies you have for you…these quiet times are really hard. I wrote a post yesterday screaming that I hate weekends…because I do. I never can tell which way the wind will blow…but since you have some time to yourself – take some moments to catch your own breath, its YOURS… and if you can get some stillness for even a second with your breath – cherish it. We consume our quiet moments with lots of thoughts, and ofcourse permutations, what ifs, should I?… for one moment, give yourself permission to sit and breathe with the gentleness of your breath and the beat of your heart…they won’t judge/ criticise or hurt you… sending hugs xx

[Beautifulday]

Sending you a big hug lovely, I very much know how these days feel:( and I find too that when I’m at work in fine or if I’m busy. Its once I stop the thoughts come flooding in, the what ifs , the dark cloud and its horrible. Try to be easy on yourself I know this is hard. What I find helps me loads is putting my walking boots on and going for a nice long walk. Im lucky I have lots of lovely walks around me but even just walking around your local area,park anywhere. I was surprised at how many new places I found that I didn’t know where there, and I wit for a while in nature it somehow grounds me, makes me see the bigger picture, nature is beautiful.i find this really soothes and helps me buy of course we all have things we enjoy, maybe reading, watching your favourite film or tvshow? Even taking time for yourself to paint your nails? Run a bubble bath, mediate , I like those adult colouring books too they are excellent for mindfulness. These days can be so horrible and sometimes you just don’t want to get out of bed, let yourself feel the emotions however difficult xx

[diymum@1]

I suppose you have to find validation look at the people out there that have done so much good in the world. At this stage you will be dissolutions this was your life partner and you expected so much more. There are definitely different types of people who have different core beliefs. In reality there are a lot of abusive people around us. The best way forward now when you to have this time is to learn to recognise their tactics. That way you can keep the good people close and the abusers out of your life. I still feel guilty for doing this I had to shell out the unhealthy people in my life. It had to be done or I couldn’t have healed. It’s learning how to deal with passive aggressive people at work I find hard but there are lots of good you tube vids on teaching us how to be politely assertive xx you will get there and your belief will come back once you start to experience genuine folk again they are out there in abundance xx

[Hazydayz]

Diymum@1 you are an inspiration to us. Always have good advice Thankyou 💐 and your nice! Thankyou for that too💐 x

[Rising Tide]

Thank you all. Reading your messages helped get me through a hard day. I know I need time and space to face the pain and sadness, but I’m also thankful for busy days at work that both distract me and help me build my sense of self outside of the crumbling relationship.

[Hazydayz]

Hi Rising Tide. Hope this all helps to make your day feel better? Sorry your feeling so low right now, flowers for you💐 to help you feel cared about. That’s how It feels when Your hurting do you feel? like no-one cares or understands how your feeling? But… we all understand, we’re hurt or hurting too! It’s good to see You have had a lot of support from these lovely ladies, nice people do exist you see, but as for finding nice men? At the moment it’s hard to believe isn’t it. They are out there! Not that you will be looking I’m guessing, your hurt by your man now and understandably, going through a painful time. Lots of us have been where you are, are where you are! we lose our faith in mankind at times, don’t we because of having had bad experiences. Don’t lose hope in your future, it takes time naturally to get over some things but never give up on people, there are some amazing people around. Take care, and don’t feel alone, remember, We’re all in this together x same message to all you other ladies struggling x

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