Viewing 6 reply threads
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    • #123829
      Busyditch
      Participant

      I’ve been given the ‘heads up’ 🥺 a safe house is going to become available any day. I’ll get a call asking if I’m ready, I’ll get a few days notice and my son and I will be out.

      I know I sound like I’m ready, but I feel so weak and utterly exhausted. Multiple decades of hiding the harsh reality of what goes on behind closed doors has pretty much finished me off. I’ve literally been to hell and it would be all too easy to ‘roll over’ and give up. I only exist on this earth, I’ve got no worth.

      Our youngest son will very soon be an adult. Then I’ll be alone.

      Feeling so low.

    • #123840
      Smallasmustardseed
      Participant

      Hello busy ditch, I’ve read all your posts and haven’t written as I don’t feel I can as I’m still stuck in my head. But I just want to say to show support how you are such an inspiration to me, your clarity and determination and bravery. I can only hope to have that and I know you say it may look like you have it together etc but you’ve come this far so far… It will all be OK you’re so strong xx

    • #123844
      ISOPeace
      Participant

      Oh Busyditch, you really do sound exhausted and I’m not surprised. You’ve been emotionally battered and I know how weak that makes you feel. You still have strength though. You have amazing strength to have brought up children while being abused. Just make the final push. You can do it. That feeling/voice telling you that you can’t do it isn’t telling the truth. It’s speaking from years of being told/manipulated into what to think and feel. It’s the same for the voice saying you have no worth. Your abuser spent decades convincing you that you have no worth in order to control you but it’s just not true. You have as much worth as every other living being. You are the only person who was born to be you. Even the from tiny amount I know of you you have inspired and supported on this forum. You deserve the freedom that is waiting for you. Sending love and strength. Xxxx

    • #123847
      Lottieblue
      Participant

      Darling – just because your son will be an adult doesn’t mean you’ll be alone.
      That is not something you should be worrying about – certainly not right now.

      And guess what? Once you’re out and safe, you come back here and a new chapter begins! The remit changes and everyone starts helping you to heal. It will happen. Everyone here cares, everyone here has your back, everyone here understands. It will be ok. X*x

    • #123855
      Busyditch
      Participant

      😳 well I wasn’t expecting responses quite like this. I post here because it feels like I can get my deepest feelings out. I don’t expect anyone to even read my s**t let alone comment.

      Thank you. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

    • #123860
      Bettertimesahead
      Participant

      Busyditch
      You are doing so well.And don’t worry re being alone.Both my children are adult but since he left we have had fun making new memories, doing little things like play a game in the living broom without being moaned at, like changing decor without a drama , like not having TV on 24/7. I am not saying there won’t be lonely times, I’m only early on and still got house, finances , divorce to face but I am not stressed like I was. Joined an online book club and rediscovered reading, do online surveys and earn Amazon vouchers, watch old TV programmes,even signed up for a free online course on a whim then panicked when it started talking assignments etc😂 but I did it and so will you!

      • #123867
        Busyditch
        Participant

        Online surveys for Amazon vouchers??? Can you explain this more please?

    • #123871
      Bettertimesahead
      Participant

      Not sure if we are allowed to put links so I’ll message you.

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