20th May 2016 at 12:16 am #17613
Not one word. Complete silence. No question, no remark, no comment, nothing comes out of his mouth. What a great relationship this is for a man who told me he was a different man who had understood a lot…
I thought the other day, not sure if I already posted this, but I feel I am two people in one : the wife and the husband…I am the perspective I should be receiving at night, I am the friend, the helper, the support, the soul, the companion, the partner, everything a husband should be and what a wife should be too…
For now it is ok. I have no choice but to accept. Thank God I have friends. I seem to have quite a few. He has absolutely none. He never did. Is it nasty to say I don’t want to be his friend?
20th May 2016 at 7:44 am #17622Falling SkysParticipant
Hugs xx they are incapable of being loving supportive to anyone. The world revolves around them and we have no right to anything.
He needs to be a friend to you as well. Don’t feel guilty he doesn’t deserve you friendship.
20th May 2016 at 8:05 am #17625
Falling Skys, what you say is true, it is so lonely living with a man like that. I do wonder how he can live like this. He is empty. There is nothing normal in him. I sometimes wonder if he suffers from a mental health problem like mild forms of autism…He seems to understand things with a completely warped view. It makes no sense yet he is able to compose himself so professionally in his job, in society in general.
I simply can’t understand it and I avoid him like the plague. I don’t know if this is done on purpose by him to make me crumble down, lose it, start arguing, if this is part of his abusive behaviour, I have no idea any more, all I can say is that the situation is not normal. It is frankly bizarre…
It is so hard living like this. I am waiting till my kids’ exams are done to decide what to do. I have had to live like this for so long I am used to it and I am able to find some joy nevertheless in what I do every day, but this is not a life. Yet I know I have the resilience to carry on no matter what. I wonder how he will treat me though when all the kids have gone from the home…even my daughter said it, what will he do to you when we are all gone…? It sends shivers down my spine.
Sorry to put it so bluntly but I think I live with a w****o.
20th May 2016 at 8:43 am #17626betterdaysParticipant
Hi bjif. Thanks for posting he were just exactly the same just totally numb and dead inside. He never flickered an eyelid when his son were diagnosed eith aspergers. Never cared when ud had a cancer scare. He used to sit in the arm chair of course with the remote in his hand od be speaking to him about what I thought we’re important things and he used to maybe mutter an odd word which wernt helpful or he would ignore me and slyly turn up the television. Evil to the core. X*x
20th May 2016 at 1:59 pm #17638
Hi Betterdays, I hope you are ok today…thank you for your post xx
21st May 2016 at 3:28 am #17655Falling SkysParticipant
I thought my abuser was suffering from depression and that was why he acted like he did but in reality he used it as an excuse to be vile. When after years of abuse I became depressed and was given therapy he was jealous at one point saying”I the depressed one not you”
Also when I was ill including a cancer scare he would say “When I’m ill I’m really ill” he was jealous I might get more attention.
As one point as I couldn’t see a way out I turn onto myself. I was a robot. Then I started exercising to extreme to remove the pain of living. But this turn it to my salvation I made new friends and was able to see things weren’t normal.
I think him saying he wanted to divorce me was away to control me again that back fired.
Start making plans for your future. Your relationship is beyond fixing because I takes two, and in his heart he believes everything is someone else’s fault.
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