Saving photos etc

[Pineapplepie]

I read that it’s best to keep a record of the abuse, like photos, recordings etc, but does anyone know of anywhere safe to keep them?
Not sure what I will need it for, I’m trying to work it all out. I don’t know what to do, but I think building it up will help, rather me letting him get away with it and blaming myself.
I have had voice notes and photos but then deleted them in case he or my children saw them.

[Twix]

You could set up a new email account & send them to yourself, that way you can take them off your device & know they’re safe x

[Mellow]

Save in email but please note they won’t want these unless there is a finding of fact hearing needed

[Pineapplepie]

Thank you, good idea. Maybe when I leave or if something happens that people will believe me, no one doubts me and I’m so embarrassed that I’m in this situation that I don’t tell anyone what happens, I’ve a feeling that he would turn everything against me, like every time I try to talk to him he does.

[weather]

Dear Pineapple,

I am so sorry to hear that you have to ensure this situation. I saved as much as I could in an email account I had, and it was only (detail removed by Moderator) that I discovered that my ex had access to my password before I changed it and was tracking my emails. Please make sure that the email account is confidential. I also had a few friends that I trusted at the time and they also stored a police report for me involving my ex. All recordings and images I had were shown to the police. Also, bank statements showing my ex’s drinking problem were also shown (detail removed by Moderator) and this also included images of him taking drugs. But, Pineapple be very careful, as it’s a blame-the-victim world out there and this is something you’d want to avoid. For example, nobody believed me when I informed them of what my ex did and I became the scapegoat of a lot of blame. (detail removed by Moderator)

I wish you all the luck in the world with your situation, and please keep safe,

Weather

[Decagon]

Pineapple,

As weather said, be careful how you store these proofs, they will be important, and can sometimes be used as a blame the victim. I found a mixed response, but was very fortunate to have some really good support too.

Sending emails to yourself is an excellent plan. Do you have a sibling, or parent or guardian whom you could send things too? Or keep things like yours and your children’s birth certificates, and other documents? In case you need to leave.

You are not to blame, these people will do anything to maintain the persona of nicest person on the planet, or sanest! My ex still believes I made it all up, and left for no good reasons.

Sending hugs and love your way, stay strong, and follow what your heart/gut is telling you.

[Pineapplepie]

Thank you, it’s so hard my head says one thing, my heart says another. Until I read something the other year I thought I deserved this and it was all my fault. I just need some to click into place but it’s so hard when he nice then not, he’s a big drinker and I think that plays a massive part in the way he acts.
I’ve tried to talk to him but it always turn into ‘what he’s had to put up with from me’ and that why he acts the way he does towards me. I the. feel guilty but what he says is all twisted and exaggerated and as much as I know it is I can’t stick up for myself. He can get really nasty and I read I should keep things as evidence so a separate email is a good idea. I have friends and family but no one knows, I think people would be shocked if they knew as he comes across so well with others and everyone likes him.
I’ve become pretty good at hiding things so I don’t know people would believe me.

[Author]

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