Saw him

[Hopesprings]

First time since the court case, only from a distance and I was in the car but boy it was not nice. I have an event soon where I know he’s going to be too. It’s an extremely large one but knowing my luck I will bump into him. It’s not a nice feeling.

[Peaceful Pig]

Hi Hopesprings, I know how you feel, I have an event coming up in a few weeks too where my ex will also be. It falls on his time with the children but my daughter wants me there to watch her. I feel like going in disguise and just creeping in at the back! I do see him in the car occasionally and have got used to it to some extent but I also haven’t faced him in person since court. Do you have a plan for coping? My plan used to be diazepam but don’t want to resort to that after all this time. Could someone go with you for support? Xx

[Hopesprings]

Thanks for your reply. I felt sort of safe in the car as I was with a colleague and a client. I’m going to this event with friends but it’s a few days long and there will be times I’m not with everyone in the group. My plan is going to be avoid and ignore. It’s really the only way forward I see xx

[Serenity]

Even if you see him, don’t meet his gaze.

Eye contact is what will make you feel vulnerable.

I have seen my ex around, and what helps us pretending to him- and to myself- that he isn’t there. It really helps.

I hope you do t be too triggered if you see him. If you start to feel upset, remind yourself that these abusers aren’t powerful figures as they would have us believe. They aren’t real men at all- they are merely cowards!

[Hopesprings]

Thank you Serenity. I will take what you said on board.

[Author]

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