Scared

[HunkyDory]

Hi ladies. Had another EMDR session and it was tough. Cried and felt sick through most of it. She said the worst is done now, we start the therapy sessions next time.

I had a message from one of my lookouts. He’s moved to a country where he can easily fly here. I saw a post on social media last week that one of his relatives had put on a photo of one of the family (not him) saying they’d soon be in this country. His travel papers are still valid. I’m terrified and feel sick. Every noise outside I’m at the window. I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next few days. Why didn’t I change the locks. Why??? I don’t think he still has a key but.. can’t be certain. I tried barricading the door with a chair but it didn’t work. I’m shaking. Sorry, I’m just so scared 😥

[Catjam]

Can you change the locks tomorrow? Try a broom handle or something like that under the handle, a block of wood is better but not easily to hand. Do a google search for ideas. It must be awful for you. Keep your phone charged and with you always so you can call the police for help. Take care xx

[KIP.]

Hey, take some deep breaths. Can you leave the key in the lock so he can’t get the key in from the other side. Ring 101 and let them know you are concerned. They can put a marker on your home. A lot of your anxiety may be due to the EMDR and reliving the trauma. This is going to take a few days to settle down. You probably know the routine. Try some relaxation tapes and mindfulness meditation. You’re not the same victim you were. You’re a survivor now. You know his game. You’re stronger and wiser now. You have strength. You have power. You have control x

[HunkyDory]

Thanks Catjam and KIP for the tips and ideas I’m trying to calm down. I think I’ll ring 101. I put the keys in the doors – thanks KIP. It probably is the hangover from the session, it was pretty bad. But then got taken out for a nice lunch and I was on a high. Always happens something to bring me crashing down.

There’s a date I’m waiting for and it’s not far away, and if he’s not here by then I’ll feel safe(er) if border force authorities do their job. Going to listen to some relaxing music and breathe a bit. I think that awful murder is playing on my mind as well (husband killed his estranged wife & new partner) Thank you so much it’s a real help having you ladies for support x*x

[hop]

Make sure that the therapist knows how you feel after the sessions. It is an emotional roller-coaster and those emotions are really. You’re being taken back to what happened to you. Take care and give yourself a treat. You deserve it xx

[Author]

Posts