Scared about the future

[xxxxhelpxxxx]

I am getting to the point of thinking of leaving and I am s**t scared. I have spoken to my GP and her advice is to get out of the relationship. Easier said than done. We rent a house together (detail removed by moderator), I have 2 cats, he has nowhere to go, there’s so much stuff in the house that needs sorting out and moving. What will he do? Where will he go?

[Iwantmeback]

His stuff, his responsibility. But the volume of it IS overwhelming! There’s storage units to rent at the end of the day. It’s so easy fir us to advise each other, it’s so not easy following it through.
It’s not up to you to organise his life though or his stuff @help.He’s a grown up at the end of the day, though they act like 3 year olds.
What I’m doing is getting rid of my clutter, stuff I haven’t used, don’t need, paperwork from years ago. Clothes, ornaments, anything I wont want in my own space/place.
I’ve filled out a housing form with the help of WA, I’m saving up as much as I can. Once I have an address I can find out about benefits👏
It’s a slow process. But you’re now thinking of leaving, look how far you’ve come since first posting on here 🤗
Think past the FOG, think of yourself, what do you want!
Your gp is right, after I spoke with mine I made an appointment with WA, not straight away, took a few more weeks to pluck up the courage to do it. Every step is baby steps. Can you say youre going looking for a present fir his Christmas, but already have it, and that you want it to be a surprise. That way you can have the time to speak to WA. my first app lasted about an hour, they know you’ll need your phone on. Pretend the reception is bad if he calls and you’ll phone him once you’ve gotten out of the shop.
I don’t want to alarm you anymore than you’re already worried, but do you think he’s got a tracker on your phone. When you’re out and about through work or something pop into your service provider, they should be able to put your mind at rest. (Detail removed by moderator). Well done on going to the doctor, that was a huge step for you🧡
(Detail removed by moderator) is your goal date, but it’s not set in stone eirher. It might take you 10 weeks to leave, 10 months, 3 years to leave, you’ll do it when you’re ready. 🤗big hugs

IWMB 💕💕

[CarryOn]

Hi everyone
I’m new and Wld like input of people who’ve been through it.

I want to leave, I can’t stand it any more.
But both solicitors I’ve seen Say he’ll have the right to have our kids (both v.small) half the week.

How do I leave if it means the kids will end up alone with him for all that time??

I just can’t feel ok about
It. I feel like I’ll be free, but my kids won’t have me there all the time to protect them. So maybe it’ll be worse for them if I leave.
So what do I do??

Does anyone have a good solicitor who understands and rallies for rights of the victim over abuser?

I’ve got to know I can protect my kids from what he might do after I leave
(Its verbal, no physical but it has got me in the worst place I’ve ever been)

Please help if u can x*x

[Iwantmeback]

Hello CarryOn, welcome to the forum. You must be very worried if that’s the advice you have been given. Were the solicitors versed in domestic abuse of just ones you picked locally. Even some advertising to be DA knowledgeable arent!
Have you spoken to women’s aid yet. The have access to their own solicitors who know lots more about the intricacies of domestic abuse(DA). If you can’t get through on the national line try your local one, they are so supportive, they listen and believe you unconditionally. Once you reach out, you’ll get stronger the more information you get. It doesn’t matter what type of abuse yours getting, it will eventually get worse and worse especially when they think they’re losing control of you. WA can find you a safe place to stay with your children, yes it might be a refuge but refuges aren’t anything like they used to be, they will help with council housing, benefit firms if need be. This is a huge situation to deal with on your own, baby steps sweetheart. First things first, talk to WA, act like you’ve never acted before, they are very good at picking up changes in us. You can do this, you have your babies to think of, that is what will keep you strong in the end. R read the many posts on here, post your own worries to, it will help you gain strength and knowledge, and with knowledge comes power💪💪.
Take care and keep posting, we are behind you all the way.
IWMB 💕💕

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