11th October 2021 at 12:00 am #132348[email protected]Participant
So I only got out my whirlwind abusive relationship a (detail removed by moderator) ago.
This week I’ve had a few bad days – the trauma bond playing tricks I guess and also the fact that he’s trying to make out that I attacked him – that it was my fault – because I was drunk & I apparently (detail removed by moderator) (I never – she was caught in the conflict of my pushing him off me)
He was drunk too – and I had the black eye – I didn’t do that to myself.
Just scared incase people believe him over me – he’s very manipulative!
Been in tears and really down.
Everyday is a struggle.
11th October 2021 at 7:10 am #132349DarcyParticipant
Hi beautiful angel… [email protected],
This is very early days for you so please be kind and gentle to yourself. Your journey in recovery is just beginning and it is totally fine that you have good days and bad, just like anyone does in life. Let the bad days happen and then pass and be grateful and blessed for the good days.
As regards to people believing your story … KNOW YOUR TRUTH
That is all that matters, people will make their own minds up and that is out of your control
I know my ex would have said things about me after I left that weren’t true but how I think about it is that there was only 2 people in our home when he was abusive, me & him, and we both deep down know the truth of the situation, so if he can put his head on the pillow at the end of the day and sleep easy then only a greater power than me (God) will judge him
Keep the focus on you ALWAYS thinking outside of this will take the energy away from you my darling
Sending you continued love and support
12th October 2021 at 4:03 pm #132411LisaMain Moderator
I just wanted to show you some support along with Darcy. I am sorry to hear that you are feeling down. We know that you have done nothing wrong and that he is twisting things. He sounds really manipulative, but please know that we believe you.
I hope you are getting some support from your local domestic abuse service, or your GP if you are feeling low.
Take care, we are all here for you.
12th October 2021 at 8:06 pm #132428BananaboatParticipant
In my last incident I called the police, I didn’t tell anyone for fear of what they’d think or say, he’s a classic abuser ‘nice guy’ who everyone in public loves. Anyway, turns out he told multiple people I’d phoned the police, he manipulated the story obviously as they do and it amazed me that not one person has contacted me, including my own family to check in. Did it hurt? You bet ya but you know what, I feel stronger for knowing what I’m dealing with. If they chose to believe him over me, that’s their problem and aren’t someone I wish to invest anymore time in. I guess what I’m saying is we can sometimes fear the unknown more than the reality of it actually happening. Let him tell his lies, YOU know the truth, ppl who care about you will believe you and even if they don’t you are not alone, there’s a lot of support out there just reach out.x
13th October 2021 at 10:38 am #132463NeverthoughtitwouldbemeParticipant
It is so hard to accept what people say and how they twist things but you know the truth and that’s all that matters.
Abusers are extremely good at turning it round on us and making out like we deserved it or we did something to them etc etc. This is just an excuse and another way of abusing us. It makes us doubt ourselves and the truth.
Sometimes it can be hard to know the truth as we are in survival mode and memory loss can play a part but so long as you are safe that’s all that matters. You will work out the rest later, take baby steps for now.
14th October 2021 at 2:21 am #132495[email protected]Participant
Thank you it means a lot to know I have support here also.
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