This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  iliketea 1 month, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #111629

    HI all

    I have finally started my 1st steps to get out. I called my local victim support yesterday and explained my situation. How i am bringing brought down every day by his criticisms and his insults, his threats if I leave I will never have my daughter with him. He gave me a black eye during lockdown and to this day still say that he did not hit me but he (detail removed by moderator). I so wish he would just accept to separate so we go our won way and we live like adults respecting each others for our choices and bring up a beautiful child happy but separated. I know deep down it won’t happen. So yesterday I called my local victim support. I gave them all my details and because there is a child involved I am on the list of priority. I am getting a call back tomorrow from them but before the lady hanged up yesterday she said they were expecting me to leave by the end of this week and go to a refuge and now I am freaking out. In my head I was going to do it in September, I wanted time to set myself up with a lawyer who will confirm all my rights before I take the plunge. Because there is a child involved they said it will have to be reported though she never been the victim. Is it right? Can I ask that they hold on until i have prepared myself mentally and legally? I am freaking out. I never thought they would ask me straight away to go into a refuge. Please can someone advise if this is right? I am so scared right now. My partner is a pervert (detail removed by moderator) so I know he will say a lot of nasty things about me and I want to be mentally ready for all the attacks.




  • #111659

    Hey don’t worry. That isn’t right. No one can force you to go to a refuge, it is your choice. A domestic abuse service would need to assess you properly through a series of question which then has an outcome. Even if you were assessed as high risk they cannot force you to leave or “report” anything. I’m very surprised they said this. My IDVA independent domestic abuse advocate from my local agency got frustrated with me wanting to make sure I had the legal and financial things sorted out, but she couldn’t force me to leave. This has to be on your terms and when you are ready. They can only advise you and support you.

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