Scared of having time on my hands

[Bleedingheart]

Hi everyone,hope you are well. I’ve been doing ok,night terrors are at a minimum, I’m just feeling quite nervous about Xmas coming up,although I’m dead excited about it for the sake of my little one,I’m nervous about the amount of time I’ll have on my hands. As most of you know,once you put the kids to bed you have a lot of time to think and annual leave is always a bad time for me. I’ve made loads of plans to do fun stuff in the lead up,it’s the lull between Xmas and new year I’m dreading,I was a wreak last year. I’m trying to stay positive about how far I’ve come this year…..I’m just feeling nervous about the future I suppose.

[Iwantmeback]

Hi Bleedingheart, I was wondering if im feeling the way iam because I have so much time on my hands. I have nothing to detract my brain from his behaviour to me anymore. When we first got together, it was the getting to know you period, then he moved in with me and my children, I was working he was working, kids were back and forth to their dads. Life was busy. I never noticed his behaviour as abuse, was uncomfortable when he was a bit heavy handed with the kids, not snacking them or that, but it was also nice not being the authoritarian figure anymore,their dad left that to me. so I allowed him more and more say in dealing with bad behaviour. When I felt he was being out of order, I’d pull him up on it but would then be told to stop undermining him.
With it being the holiday period, would you allow them to stay up a bit later, then maybe go to bed an hour after them or at the same time. Anything that stops your mind drifting to thoughts of him.💕💕IWMB

[Bleedingheart]

Your situation sounds similar to mine,in that he moved in with me and tried to rule with an iron fist,it did me a favour really cos seeing how he was with my daughter brought me to my senses,I’d of probably submitted if it was just me cos I was so weak and vulnerable but I had to claw my way out for my child’s sake. I agree with you that with it being the school hols we can have later night’s together😊I’m just a bit apprehensive about it all,but as I always do,I’ll take it one day at a time. Coming here and knowing people arrvwilling to lend an ear helps massively, thank you 💕

[Iwantmeback]

You are so welcome. It’s heartening to know people we have never met are so thoughtful, helpful and jyst there

IWMB 💕💕

[Tiffany]

I have always found doing crafts helps calm my mind. Could you treat yourself to a project you could work on in the evenings for Christmas? I organise our family’s stockings and always make a point of putting something to do in them for that time period. Or reading? Or baking? Something you find soothing, but also engaging enough that your mind doesn’t wander. I hope you have a lovely holiday with your kids.

[Bleedingheart]

Thanks,that’s a brill idea,I absolutely love reading and it’s occurred to me after reading your message that I haven’t read a single book since ‘him’, he mocked me when started to read in front of him and I was too embarrassed to do it again. I’m going to get a new book today😊I’ve got Christmas eve boxes to get ready for my daughter and my nieces too. Thanks for your advice,lots of love 💕💕

[KIP.]

I remember in the early days having so much time on my hands was scary. With me it was because all my time and energy went into keeping him happy, it left not much time at all for me. I promise this is just a phase and once you get your mojo back and develop new interesting hobbies and things to do, your life becomes much more fulfilling.

[Iwantmeback]

Hi all, at this moment in time I have a lot of time on my hands, (in between getting things in he likes to eat(or will eat), as it changes week to week)I go to the shops daily now as I was throwing out so much food cos he didn’t like it anymore or I was that worried wondering if he’d eat it or complain that it was sh..e, that I was burning my pots. Thank goodness they are good ones and they do clean up or id be buying new ones constantly. That in itself is exhausting as I have chronic pain caused by degenerative disc disease to my lower spine. I’m constantly buying crisps and ginger(pop) and ice cream as he’d rather eat that than diners, yet complains if he’s not got a dinner for him coming in from work or will say hes not hungry, yet didn’t phone me to say don’t bother making anything. I need off this roundabout, it’s making me Ill.
IWMB 💕💕

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