14th February 2020 at 11:42 pm #97741PinknailsParticipant
After going to my appointment (detail removed by moderator) and after answering all their questions my case is being handed to the multi agency meeting. I told them about most of what has happened but not all of it. Anyway they want me to contact rape crisis about the sexual abuse and I know as soon as it’s mentioned he takes drugs at the meeting social services will become involved. I now feel this horrible guilt because he has a child living with him full time. He will lose it with me if his child is taken because of his abuse and drug use. He keeps trying to see me and i keep refusing to.
His family have been contacting me , he’s making out like I’m the bad one and I’m “ shutting him out” . I’ve only asked him to stop contacting me and to leave me alone because of the stress he is causing with the constant messages. I’m pregnant and him stressing me out is not good for the baby. After he threatened to take the baby , he keeps texting about the baby and how he wants to be in her life and how he doesn’t think I’ll let him. I have tried to keep things civil but between him and his family harassing me it’s becoming impossible.
Today I’ve been a mess I was fine until he started texting me and then I broke down. He also knows my dad has been to mine , I’ve not said to anyone my dad was coming round or said he was at mine on social media so for him to know my dad has actually been at mine is concerning. My dad doesn’t usually come and see me often as he works over (detail removed by moderator) away and works long hours so rarely has the time. So dad coming to mine is not a regular occurrence or a thing that happens often.
My mum came up to stay with me (detail removed by moderator) , during her visit I fell and broke my (detail removed by moderator) luckily she was there to help. Now she’s gone back home I’ve been getting messages non stop from ex and his family. I feel like a sitting duck with a broken (detail removed by moderator) and fact I feel like he’s watching me because he knows details no one else knows about what I’ve been doing.
I’ve started arranging to move away before I give birth. Now I’ve got to somehow pack up my home , pregnant and with a broken (detail removed by moderator). My best friend is helping me where she can.
When will this end ?! I need more proof he’s watching my home and keeping an eye on me … I’ve no idea how to prove this!
15th February 2020 at 5:10 pm #97788LisaMain Moderator
Sorry to hear you’re going through all of this. You have nothing to feel guilty about; you wouldn’t have had to reach out for help in the first place if he wasn’t being abusive. I understand why you’d be feeling anxious about social services getting involved but this isn’t down to you. Perpetrators of abuse will always blame the other person for their abusive behaviour, but please try to remember he’s a grown man in control of his behaviour.
What he’s doing is stalking and harassment. How would you feel about blocking his and his families numbers? Try to hold on to any evidence of the harassment if you can; take screenshots if possible.
Have you been in touch with your local domestic abuse service? This might be a good idea if you haven’t already for some 1:1 support from a domestic abuse worker. You could also speak to the National Stalking and Harassment Helpline on 0808 802 0300, or to look into an injunction you could contact DV Assist on 0800 195 8699.
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