Scary notion

[savingthestars]

Has anyone felt like putting themselves back into harms way?

The womens aid worker has signed me off. Social say that due to there being an order they can do nothing, and besides the kids seem safe enough – forget emotions and the fact that they cant go to DART because they basically live with a monster… I feel its too late, and theres too much evidence for me to go through alone.. which because i was standing up for myself just looks like a load of rows.

I feel like talking to him. I feel like putting myself in the line of fire to show people what he is.

My boyfriend would call me an idiot, and I feel like one for even thinking it. I just feel alone and dont know what to do.

I mean I could go to womens aid and re-refer myself. But I dont know what good that will honestly do

[fizzylem]

Have you tried writing down what happened, as if you were to make a statement? Might help. Focus on his behaviour, the dates and the inccidents. Maybe do a seperate doc re the effects it has had on you?

Family court is not really the place to deal with his behaviour, sadly it’s not about how he treated you, this doesnt really come into it, it should yes but it doesn’t, I take the view he simply can not be a good or even adequate father if he abuses the mother – end of really. Family court is about his right and the child’s right to have a relationship and this is at the for front of the proceedings. Yes you and I know that how he treats us has everything to do with his care for his children sometimes and that they suffer either directly or indirectly, but until the tides shift, he will always get access hey, even real violent, criminals do; but that said, if you ever feel there needs to be supervised access only or if they say they dont want to go – then you have the right to fight for this back in court hey.

Maybe focus on working out how he broke the law; and then make a formal complaint with the police. Have you seen the CPS page on controlling and coercive behaviour? Could help.

I think if you could seperate the two, family court and the abuse you experienced this could help you to find a more positive way forwards. See if you have any evidence of the abuse. In your diary, or with the GP or with WA – you can ask for a copy of your notes from WA and the GP, any counselling notes? Any evidence that can support your statement.

It feels like he got away with it doesnt it – I know this feeling. For me I’m going to report; I am open to the idea that the police may or may not decide to investigate it. But I have to know one way or the other, if I try to report and he doesnt get charged then I know I did what I could and I will let it go. Simply by making a statement alone will mean that this info is available to others under Claire’s law, which has to be a good thing right – even if nothing else ever comes from it.

Build strength and resiliance from this; invest in you, your healing, self care, therapy and anything else that helps x

[diymum@1]

I thought about doing this. out off desperation really as noone was listening at first. what i learned was its much smarter to take it down the right channels these men always trip them selves up. i was going to put myself in the firing line at the handover. he fought hard to take it out off the contact centre but was refused. thank god because otherwise i dont think he could have controlled himself around me – the hatred boiled up so much more once we had the contact dispute. it really ignited pure hatred on both sides x*x

[Author]

Posts