Scenario

[Missssy]

Hello ladies, I hope everyone is having a positive day and feels confident in their strength and self worth. You all deserve to be happy and safe.

I would like some thoughts on the following scenario;

An abusive ex who you have gone totally NC with, has conditions not to contact you etc. Does not live in then same area you do, and doesn’t have any business there apart from perhaps one friend, at most. Aside from that, they know that it’s a place you frequent.

You see them from a distance, pacing up and down on one side of the road. Pretty sure they have seen you too… Then hardly any amount of time later they are walking directly past the location you are in, and stare at you as they pass, maintaining eye contact. Shortly after that, you see them hurriedly leaving the area.

What would you think of this?

Thanks girls xx

[Missssy]

Sorry, I meant would you consider that it be a (very strange) coincidence, or something a bit more calculated? Xx

[KIP.]

Hi there. There is no such thing as coincidence when it comes to these men. Consider if you have court conditions never to contact or approach a person? You or I would do everything in our power to avoid any areas where he may be. I know my abusers routine and I stay well away from the places he used to go. I would expect him to do the same. If he does not. It’s calculated and I would report it to the police. Every time I saw my ex I reported him and it can show a pattern of behaviour that the police can use to protect you. Trust your gut X

[danicali]

it’s stalking but just under the radar. not sure if there’s much you can do about it at this level now, unless he approaches you or speaks to you or is right in front of your home or is pestering you in other ways. you can try to report it but they can argue “coincidence” and also they will ask you how many times has it happened. keep a diary of this nonsense, dates, times, locations, what he was doing, etc.

these men never give up, do they

[Missssy]

Thanks for your responses!

I didn’t think of it as stalking as of course I just assumed he was perhaps visiting his pal. However in hindsight, it doesn’t really seem like that was the case. (I also don’t know if he has done this before, just without me seeing him.) I guess on this occasion, he wanted to be seen.

I don’t feel as if he was trying to intimidate me or anything, so I haven’t made any kind of report or complaint, but it has been playing on my mind a lot since it happened. Also, he was hooded up when prowling around and exiting the area but had taken it down when passing by and looking at me.

I can’t help but wonder why…

[Author]

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