seeing the ex

[heartthread]

I won’t go into detail of what happened, but I have to see my ex because he has visits with the children. He attacked me at the last visit and I finally got a police officer to listen to me. This is the first one on record. When I tried to speak to an officer before they didn’t understand me because I am in a foreign country and didn’t speak the language yet. Now i speak it and understand it. I hate seeing my ex and I hate even more that he prefers to fight with me rather than make the time with his children more memorable. I seemed to be fine after the attack happened but now I am feeling the effects. Why does it take so long for me to even process what happened? Its been a bad day.

[KIP.]

You’re suffering from Trauma. You do not have to see him. Nobody has to be in the same room as someone who attacked them. You have choices. I would not let him near me again. Can you use a third party for spending time with the children. Do you have a court order for access. He will use the children as an excuse to continue his abuse. Your gut is telling you he is dangerous. Meet him somewhere Public if you really have to or at a frien or family’s house where you have a witness. Ring the helpline number on here too.

[Lisa]

Hi Heartthread,

I just wanted to show you some support. When you next get a safe chance please do phone the helpline. They can help advice you as to what options you may have. If you don’t have a court order demanding that he has contact with the children you can tell him that you do not want him to have contact as it is as he is simply using the contact to abuse you and to try and maintain power and control. If you do not have faith in his ability to look after the children well when he has contact then you can ask for contact to be supervised. Your local Women’s Aid can help you every step of the way. You can also speak to The National Centre for Domestic Violence http://www.ncdv.org.uk to see if you can get an injunction out against him.

We are all here for you. I hope you have a happy and safe Christmas.

Best wishes,

Lisa
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