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Hi everyone,
Experiencing Domestic Abuse can be very draining. It can feel very isolating to be in a situation like this and this is why the forum is so important. The aftermath of going through something like this can have a profound impact on our mental well-being, self-worth and our physical health.
Self care are different ways we put ourselves first and look after ourselves. Self care could be nurturing your hobbies, eating your favourite foods, going for a long walk and many others.
Please feel free to share your own self care tips and what works for you.
If you ever need a listening ear, Samaritans are there 24/7 on 116 123.
Kind regards,
Lisa
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Loneliness is the worth feeling on earth so I come here and feel connected to the world again and feel much better. Connecting with others I found to be the best antidote against loneliness and depression.
When I have days with low self esteem and I just cry for I don’t know why, I take care of myself by getting pizza, ice-cream and choose a series that makes me laugh and curl up in bed with my teddybear. After one or two days of this super spoiled treatment I usually feel better and can’t wait to get out of the house.
When I feel better, I like to treat myself by going to the zoo, I love to see the animals, especially the big monkeys – the gorillas and the chimpanzees are my favourite – I stay there for a whole hour just watching them and also appreciate watching the little kids, there are a lot of kinder garden going there so it’s a lot of fun and colorful noise everywhere.
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Thank you both for your great replies about how you practice self care. It’s so important but often can be so difficult to do.
If anyone else would like to share ideas and tips of how to look after our emotional and physical well-being, please do so.
There’s also some helpful ‘Tips for everyday living’ on the Mind website.
Kind Regards and Keep posting,
Lisa
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Self care is political and governmental action.
Also the action of organisations like Women’s Aid, lobbying in parliament.
This is self-care.
Along with all the bubble bath, gardening, cooking stuff…
Changing something for the better with political action makes for good self-care.
A petition, making one’s views heard to orgnaisations like this. Letter to M.P.
All self-care
ftc
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Thank you freedomtochoose and Iwantmeback for your replies.
You might like to have a read through our Campaigning and Influencing page.
Kind Regards,
Lisa
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I like going for a drive with my friend for coffee. We laugh about absolutely stupid stuff and that’s when I’m at my happiest. I have missed it so much as we didn’t really get to do it before I left. Just being giddy and silly is my favourite self care.
Also, might sound daft, but work is self care for me too. (Work detail removed by moderator). It is very satisfying and helps me feel strong and confident, even just for a few hours.
I also downloaded the Youper app which is really good for self care. It is helping me challenge my negative thoughts and has helped me down from a few scary ledges recently 🤣
I feel like I am indulging a lot these days in self care haha. It feels good x -
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Right now what I do in terms of self care – going for walks to the old town of my city. Going for coffee. Also, going to see a therapist. Taking long showers with a nice smelling shower gel (I have a radio in my shower, so I actually like dancing in a shower sometimes when I need that). Cuddling my cat. Baking – as this is what I love to do just don’t have time to do it often.
Also, having my nails done or having a spa ritual for my hair every few months. -
Breathe, step back, and don’t make a decision today. I spend a great deal of my time beating myself up about not being brave enough to leave, not having left ten years ago, not giving my kid the chance of a loving step-dad if I’d had the courage to leave years ago, etc. As hard as my H is on me, I’m equally hard on myself. So when my head really starts getting jumbled, I remind myself that I don’t have to make a decision today. I’ve lived with this for sooooooooooo many years, one more day won’t hurt.
On a practical level, it really helps me to remove myself physically from where I am. Even if it’s just going out in the garden or going to a different room in the house, changing whatever activity I’m doing, etc. I feel like if I can physically step away from the place I’m in when I’m feeling like that, I can leave the feeling behind me, if that makes sense?! x
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Thank you for your further insights into self care. As you all mention, self care can be simple everyday activities or moments, which, alongside external support, can really help when coping with the immensely negative effects of domestic abuse. We acknowledge that accessing external support can at times be challenging, so we thought it would be helpful to discuss how self care can positively contribute to our well being, in combination with the support that’s out there from various services.
To clarify my original post, The Samaritans is a 24/7 service which can provide listening support to anyone, about any issue, particularly for those who are experiencing feelings of isolation, disconnection or suicidal thoughts. Sometimes it can help to reach out to different services, at different times of our lives; other helplines for support include; SupportLine, No Panic and Family Lives.
None of these services are domestic abuse specific, however, so to speak to a domestic abuse support worker you can contact The 24 hour Freephone National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247. Alternatively, you can find the details of your local domestic abuse service, and ask them what support they can offer; this might be talking to a support worker or attending group recovery programmes.It’s good to keep thinking of what works for each of us in terms of self care, to compliment the external support that is available.
Thanks and Kind Regards,
Lisa
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I bought a door bar and alarms for the doors so I could sleep more easily. They were the exact same ones that were in the police safety kit. Sleep is deeper and more restful now. If I want to go to bed at 7pm, I do.
I’ve been eating such great meals too, treating myself to a variety of yummy things I’ve had to forego before. Bought a couple of cookbooks and have been having fun experiencing new tastes and textures.
I use aromatherapy roll-ons, and carry a couple of Tisserand ones called Support and Comfort in my bag. They really help to ground me and see me through when anxiety starts creeping up on me.
I talk about being a survivor, at work, and am involved in creating a domestic abuse policy for the organisation.
I sing aloud to the radio, and also tunelessly warble total nonsense I make up, and laugh with myself whilst jigging a daft dance in the kitchen.
I tell one person at least, each day, when I have contact with people, something nice about themselves. From saying I heard them say something and thought it was lovely, to telling them their scarf is a beautiful choice. It reminds me that I can be kind and loving, so really is self care.
I take 10 or 15 minutes every morning to do a me thing. Read a little, meditate, practice mindfulness, colour, for example. I allow myself to not feel guilty for the indulgence of it, because it helps me be a happier, more positive person to be around. If I’m up early I’ll give myself 20 mins. or so. I remind myself it absolutely isn’t a ‘waste of time.’
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Thank you for your lovely post EbonyRaven. You have a lot of practical tips to keep safe, and activities that relax and ground you. You also mentioned talking about being a survivor, and activism can be a really powerful way of caring for yourself. Me time is always really valuable and your well-being deserves to be put first.
Kind regards
Lisa
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