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    • #17918

      Hi, my DV history is quite old, for many years I’ve I’ve focused on my career, travelling, being with friends and generally I am in a good space.

      However, I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly (removed by moderator) months now and he is wonderful, kjnd, caring and supportive but my old demons from mh abusive relationship are resurfacing in form of my low self esteem so before I sabotage the best thing I’ve ever experienced its finally time to dig into my bad spaces in my head and deal with them!

      Can anyone recommend any books, websites, videos, online counselling that has been particularly helpful for them?

      My abuse was physical towards the end but I endured years of mental abuse before that but I am a survivor 😊

      Thanks in advance


    • #17979
      Main Moderator


      Thank you for your post and welcome to the Survivor’s Forum. It is common and very understandable for the emotional scars of an abusive relationship to surface some time later, especially when you are trying to become closer to another person.

      I would certainly advise some counselling, with a counsellor who specialises in abuse and trauma.

      On this website there is a tab called ‘Useful Links, which includes links to online counselling and several different support services. You can find it here;

      Hopefully some other forum users can share books and resources that they have found helpful with their own healing from abuse.

      Kind Regards,


    • #17991

      Hi HUn

      There are loads of good books I would google up on amazon domestic violence and see which one applies to u, common ones are why did he do that by lundy Bancroft, the dominator by pat craven . I find counselling helps loads and u would benefit as u have delayed reaction , post on here, ladies give lovely support and advice

    • #17994
      lover of no contact

      I find a book by Sherry Argov very helpful for all my relationships, its called ‘Why men love b*****s’. Its for women who are too ‘nice’. I find it humorous and light. In it being a b*tch is someone who is nice, kind and polite.. except when someone crosses her boundaries and doesn’t treat her well, then her inner b*tch comes out.

      She says to forget ‘our inner child’, us nice girls need to get in touch with our inner b*tch! lol.

      She describes B***h as in ‘Babe In Total Control of Herself’ and B***h as in ‘Boys I’m Taking Control Here!’

      I love her books. I find them very empowering!!

      Welcome to the Forum. Keep posting for support. So glad you survived the Domestic Abuse. And your input (thoughts and feelings) can help us too. We all learn and heal from each other, from where we’re at on our journey of recovery from having been unfortunate to have come in contact with an abuser or abusers at some stage in our life.

    • #18089

      I found the freedom program good for me

    • #18115

      Yes I found the Freedom Programme and Pattern Changing brilliant.

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