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    • #43789
      Nova
      Participant

      today I kicked some butt metaphorically…for a change! It felt good to set some things straight with people taking advantage of me.

      I’ve been working with this small company for (detail removed by moderator) years and no wage increase, just working and not complaining head down, accepting (just like in that s****y abusive world of his)

      …I know I held onto it because I’ve been in the ‘relationship’…taken advantage of, basically, and they haven’t offered to improve the wage offer &/or show some appreciation.
      My self worth knocked side ways, has dissapeared, no confidence just robotic existence, which has continued after my exit from the hell hole that was meant to be something else.
      Today, it was like one step too far, one colleague was taking the absolute p just gloating about me having to do something, not my choice, on her behalf (this person is not nice at all, just a stirrer) ALL triggers were happening…I just said my piece quite clearly told her not to be so rude etc!

      I feel liberated that I have taken a huge step forward…empowered and my sense of myself coming back.
      Because I’m worth it!!

      Cx

    • #43790
      lover of no contact
      Participant

      Hi cuppa,

      Well done. I battle with similar in my work-place. I’m trying to not stay silent when a colleague is rude/disrespectful/shouting. I don’t always manage it but I am improving.

      My favourite responses to rudeness are: ‘Are you ok?’
      Are you ok, you sound tired/stressed?’ or

      That’s a bit harsh or

      I don’t understand why you’re giving me such a hard time aren’t I trying to help you ..

      Really!!!!??

      I always feel better if I don’t just stay silent. But then again silence can be better than reacting emotionally.

      Its so hard dealing with rude/impolite/bossy people but we’re getting there step by step. One day at a time.

      Thanks for sharing your empowering response today!

    • #43794
      Serenity
      Participant

      Fantastic.

      Keep on asserting yourself! 💛

    • #43797
      Nova
      Participant

      Thanks Ladies!
      I just had enough! Like the day I told him not to bother coming back.,,for good forever. That was that..you know what I had a similar response today…that …oh really, surprised look, like …does she really! Mean that.
      Yes I really mean that!…it’s been a longgggg time
      coming and the fact that people keep on and on at caring types, just chipping away, until the finale…and then, it’s all over. The gravy train comes to a grinding halt and I got off with dignity and integrity intact.

      Hallelujah for having my voice back.

      Cx

    • #43837
      Sad sunflower
      Participant

      Well done! Reading posts like this one give me hope and make me feel I can become a strong assertive women like you Cuppa 🙂

    • #43839
      Nova
      Participant

      …that’s so cool Sad Sunflower keep on doing what you do don’t stand for any c**p…and moving forward…its the only way!

      hugs Cx

    • #44116
      Nova
      Participant

      Hi to all ladies!

      this is whats happening today…I had an email from the ex today…boring in a way, property matter…anyway the jist of it is, he’s now switching it round like I never responded to him regarding the property…oh, looks like the manipulator just got back in town.

      Except that I instigated all movement regarding the house!
      Now hes saying because I didnt reply quick, I’m actually to blame and I have delayed the matter.. LOL

      Well…I had to reply to that, in no uncertain terms, I said
      Let. us. clarify.
      Then a short summary, of his negligence, ignoring the fact that he is in OUR house.

      I know NC…I had to say my bit & for legal reasons, like hes the one all great and Im the one whose messing him about, they just don’t know how to be a civilised human being do they, like at all.

      However now its all different, I’m not listening to the BS-itis…
      I can say clearly, I really dislike him intensely, (putting it mildly!)there no pinning no looking through rose tinted specs no…if only’s just pure…get it sorted empowerment.
      So we are definitely on a different playing field now buddy….hes about to find that out!

    • #44119
      KIP.
      Participant

      It took me a while not to get dragged into or panicked by his bs. The most important thing is to stick to the facts of the legality. It’s all so dysfunctional. The way they twist things to try to make us look unreasonable. I had to pay my ex tens of thousands of pounds for my house as he hid and stole mega bucks that I couldn’t prove, and he wrote back via his solicitor saying he would round down the figure and was making a huge concession! Try to keep emotions out of it and listen to what the law says, not him?

    • #44127
      Nova
      Participant

      Absolutely right, its going through a lawyer, thanks to my perseverance…I have no doubt Kip that he’ll try to sc’w me out of every last penny…just for the finale.
      However I have a set figure in my mind, I don’t care about him, and I’m fully prepared to let go some of my assets, just to get rid of the nightmare.
      Its the only way, he will feel like he’s effectively won…although I mean to get some return.
      Saying that god knows what the ‘formal’ response will be, no doubt, not what I want.
      However I have a long list of lawful terms at my disposal and have emails and evidence of our agreement.
      Bottom line the settlement will be following the original agreement, which he’s conveniently forgot…no surprise there. However he knows I will go to court if necessary and hes a total wimp & a big bully.

      lets watch this space, bumpy ride ahead, no doubt, NC, no emotion, just law.
      I wont now contact him ever again, only though the lawyer, its out of my hands. Thank heavens for that!

      Cx

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