Setting expectations of Refugee

[mummyconundrum]

I have been in refugee for (detail removed by Moderator) months now and honestly I cannot wait to get out. I am waiting to get my leave to remain in the UK so I am stuck here till then.

This is intended to give people new to refugee and insight and the downsides so that your expectations are managed.

1. There are all sorts of women in refugee, one of the women in the refuge I am stole my clothes (Newly bought), she went into my room and took it. So be very careful and be extra vigilant

2. Refugee is sort of more an housing model than a support model. I believe the budget cuts is affecting refugees so Support workers now provided less support than they were able to. Dont expect a wrap around support, You need to be your own best coach and support worker

3. In refugees women speak openingly about there experience sometimes with children around. Be careful as older children can hear some of the adult conversations mostly about abuse but sometimes too much information for kids

4. Children pick up behaviors they see at refugee because they are living with other people that influence them passively. My s toddler son started to yell when he calls for me because the women in my refugee yell when calling or scolding there kids. I got my son to know yelling is not nice

5. In refugee gossip and idle talk is very common especially with women that have not going for them so they speak about other residents. At my refugee one of the residents told me ‘(detail removed by Moderator)‘ I was shocked beyond words. So please refrain from gossip just tell everyone that you dont like to gossip

Lastly you will not get along with all the women at refugee as their are women of different ages and culturally backgrounds so it is impossible to get along all the time. Yes you can make life long friends but but cautious that you cannot please everyone at refugee. Tip: Just be civil but dnt look or try to be a friend i.e never borrow or give money to another resident.

[Iwantmeback]

Thank you for posting, we are cocooned on this forum, we have empathy for each other, but Refuge puts us with others who we’d never mix with otherwise. I thought all refuges would have individual locks on the doors that only one key would open,I thought what little we can take to refuge would be safe and respect would be tantamount because it was missing in the relationships the women had left. I guess law of the jungle rises it’s ugly head, the toughest survive because it’s all they’ve known.
Best wishes IWMB 💕💕

[freedomtochoose]

felt safe in refuge, not had these experiences.
but then I kept myself and my child very much to myself.

I have regrets around this now, as I didn’t mix hardly at all.

However, we had a rule ‘don’t have anything to do with other’s kids’.

Very sensible. As you really don’t know what other peoples scenarios are.

all best
ftc
x

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