Sex??

[Alittlelost]

This is a embarrassing topic but i feel i need talk about it.

Since my boyf rapped me i dont find having sex with him at all something i want. I do it now because i feel i have to. When i think of sex with him i dread it. I have found myself of dreaming at night of being with other men and i like it and it attracts me. I feel guilty for these dreams.
I wouldnt cheat and i cant imagine actually being able to go through with having sex with any other man because how bad i feel about myself.

I know alot people probably fantacise about other men other then their own partner but i feel so guilty. He ruined it.

[Candlefan]

I know exactly how you feel Alittlelost, I was also raped by my ex and I can’t move on at all. The thought of sex now frightens me

[KIP.]

You have nothing to feel guilty about. He raped you and he should be in prison for a long time. That’s where he would be if there was evidence. Perhaps you’re dreaming of other men who will treat you well and respect you. Perhaps that’s where these dreams come from. A longing for a respectful loving relationship that you won’t ever get with someone that rapes you. Or perhaps it’s a coping mechanism to take your mind elsewhere. Somewhere safe x

[Creamflowersbloom]

I have had this recently too. I fantasise about a good Christian man who adores me. The level of abuse is too much that we find solace in imagining someone who would treat us how we deserve to be treated. It’s healthy you’re thinking of other men, it means you are starting to think of leaving.

[KIP.]

I just wanted to say well done for opening up about the topic. Abuse thrives on silence so please don’t be embarrassed. It’s positive that you can discuss it. It’s how we learn to challenge behaviour.

[Author]

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