Sharing websites/blogs with him?

[EeyoreNoMore]

I’ve done so much research after our recent split and he absolutely is an abuser. Thing is, he absolutely denies it and blames me for everything. I want to share the (removed by moderator) and and Lundy Bancroft book and scream LOOK! THIS IS WHAT YOU DO!!

Would this be futile? Would it be showing him how to fight me?

I’m just feeling so frustrated that he won’t admit anything. He takes a true story and shreds it, twists it and makes it work for him.

Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!

[Healthyarchive]

Hi there, I think you might find you have what is known as a circular conversation (information removed by moderator). They will not admit or take on board any wrong doing. I remember writing down a list of things my ex did, when it was really fresh in my mind. We would sit down ‘for a chat’. It was normally when I had something on my mind, something worrying me about us and I wanted to talk to him about it, to clear the air. I would be open, honest and talk about the thing that was bothering me. Every time without fail I would come away from that chat with absolutely nothing resolved, the thing that I wanted to talk about brushed to one side or I was blamed, or he flatly refused to answer. Not once in the whole of our relationship did we have a decent, honest mutually respectful conversation with us both opening up and listening. I think if you have this urge to point this out to him, you may still have your head in the relationship and trying to work at it? They admit nothing, apologize for nothing and blame you for everything, if you follow those key facts you can’t go wrong. X*X

[EeyoreNoMore]

Thanks HA. Unfortunately despite my non mol he still has the right to call me 3 times a week to discuss our daughter’s welfare. I wish I didn’t have to speak to him and listen to his denials and rubbish.

Do they just not acknowledge or admit what they’ve done or do they genuinely not see it?

Need to research Grey Rock more I think.

Thanks for listening xx

[godschild]

Hi, they actually live in a different sckewed reality to us, they do not see things as they are, they have arrested developement and cannot see outside themsleves, they put all of the rubbish they hold in their soul otno us to avoid looking at themselves and taking reponsibilty, a man who overcame abuse Austin james wrote a book – emotional abuse the silent killer of marriage and he said it is liket a toddler who has had their hands in the cookie jar and has chocolate all over their face but still denies they have and the cookies, they are like toddlers who cannot take responsibility but these men wont take responsibilty theylive in denial which is very hard to break through, its their protection and they dont care who they hurt in the process of self protection xx

[godschild]

I came across a mansname a few days ago and scribbled it down this man was said to be an expert on manipulation, his name is Dr George Simon, I have just googled it and he has a website and some talks on u tube to watch, he wrote a book called- in sheeps clothing which from the write ups looks good, have only just come across him but in an excerpt from one of his books he talks a bit about people who,manipulate others and do not want to stop it, may make good reading for some ladies to understand manipulators and how they tick, just thought I would share that, just google Dr George Simon, you may well find the answer to your question eyeorenomore

[EeyoreNoMore]

Thanks GC, I’ll have a look!

[KIP.]

Hi, don’t ever try to discuss his abuse. He will twist everything and leave you feeling the lowest of the low. Can’t a third party speak to him three times a week about your daughter, then pass you ant relevant information? Or if she’s older, a contact book that she takes with her. Why do you have to have direct contact. It could be done through text or email then you have a record. Don’t be pushed into contact with this man. Time and no contact are by far the quickest way to heal. No contact means no mind games X

[Velveteenbun]

Literally I have been wondering the exact same thing. Does my ex know his faults and purposefully put blamr on everyone else of is he entirepy incapable of accepting responsibility. Everything is my fault, it is insane how he cannot adnit even partial fault for anything. It drives me mad.

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