26th February 2016 at 7:00 pm #10498
Was on here before and wanted to say hi to people who supported me so much. I’m not sure how many of the people who around then are still posting; but thought I would do a bit of an update. Me and the kids are good. I think last time I posted was after my husband hit me in the face outside the house. I was so scared I dropped the charges and as a result all of my kids were put on a child protection plan….I was so upset because it stated the reason as neglect. My husband then continued to threaten me, follow me, destroy my car and cut me up at a busy junction as well as breaking onto the house. Children’s services told me that they would be consulting their legal team about removing my kids. …I hate them for this and at the same time it’s the best thing that could have happened because the only thing more terrifying than him was losing my kids.
I am about to (detail removed by Moderator) and we are safe in a different place. At last we feel like we can breathe. I have give the police lady permission to look at my medical records including the scars across my back from the electric cable. I got the doctor to look at them a good while a go. The police officer who is dealing with my a case is a SOIT officer. ..so I think at last she may have given me the courage to speak about how he raped me repeatedly. .. I hope that I will be courageous. I am amazed that I got this far….Thank u so much to those ladies back then who got me through when I was so scared of going against family and culture, when I was scrub myself till I bled, when he assaulted me and gave me an still. ..I think I’ve come along way. Love and courage to everyone.
26th February 2016 at 7:11 pm #10499DaisyParticipant
Fantastic news, shine bright,
I don’t know if you’ve had a chance to look at other recent posts yet ( as yours was the first one I saw on logging in, ) but the ladies were asking about you and how you are)
It is so fantastic when we hear, inspirational posts that no matter how bad it gets there is a way out
Sending you a big, big (((((((hug))))))) brave lady
From Daisy ( ne MJ) from the old forum
X x x
26th February 2016 at 7:12 pm #10500KIP.Participant
Hi, how lovely to hear from you. You are so brave. I was Knowlege Is Power. (detail removed by Moderator) I’m so glad you’re safe. I’ve often thought about you and the nightmare you went through. It’s so good to think you and your children are safe and can continue to heal. I hope he gets what he deserves. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Big hugs❤️ Welcome back, keep posting x
26th February 2016 at 7:35 pm #10503White RoseParticipant
Hi shine bright so glad to hear how you are! I’m still here with the same name and some of the same problems but getting there steadily. Divorced now which was a milestone! xxxx
26th February 2016 at 7:39 pm #10504
Hi knowledge is power I remember u really well. I’m really, really scared of court…but have been promised video link and all this bt I’m so scared. The police woman from the dvu is amazing and spent six hours doing my statement with me. She wants me to make a statement about the time when he assaulted me when the kids was sleeping. .coz they can also take from medical records that I did swabs go still but couldn’t cope with being examined. It’s been really hard. I hate the social workers and I hate they are in our lives Coz of him…but we are safe he can’t carry out his threats to set fire to us or take the kids to home country or to cut my throat. I’m not sure that people who aren’t in our position would understand the absolute beauty of feeling safe.
26th February 2016 at 8:23 pm #10506KIP.Participant
Hi shiney, court was ok. It’s great that you have a video link. I’m sure you’ve given many interviews, so just some more questions although some questions were just stupid. Just tell the truth and you will be fine. These perps just make it worse for themselves. It must be awful having all these agencies involved but they have your best interests at heart. We are just so trauma bonded to these men, we cannot think straight. If you can manage to tell absolutely everything you can to the police. I know it’s so very hard. I gave over 35 hours of interviews and I know the awful aftershock that comes but I’m glad I told everything. Once court is over and the monster is kept away, the social workers will leave you to be the wonderful mum you are. I still have the odd down day, I think recovery will always be a roller coaster. I’m in the process of getting an (detail removed by Moderator) as he just won’t stay away. I’m terrified he will play the mind games again or hurt me again so I’m doing everything I can to keep him away. Do you have someone to go to court with you? Women’s Aid are great. If you ask, I’m sure they will be glad to help with court x
26th February 2016 at 8:31 pm #10508SerenityParticipant
I have been wondering how you are and I am so amazed at how far you have come and how strong you sound. It’s amazing.
I managed to divorce mine too and to keep my house, and though it is a rocky road as he is still trying to hurt us in different ways, I am much more independent now.
So glad you posted. You are amazing x
26th February 2016 at 9:01 pm #10511LisaMain Moderator
Hi shine bright 2,
Just to say welcome to the new forum, and thank you for sharing your update with us. It is great to hear from you. I am so pleased you and your children are safe. You are doing brilliantly!
Keep posting to us when you can.
26th February 2016 at 11:39 pm #10537Peaceful PigParticipant
Shiney! Welcome back! What a relief to hear you and your girls are safe. I’m so pleased to hear how much you’ve achieved, you’ve been amazingly brave. Things are much better for me now too. I have a lovely, safe new home and a court order in place. I’ve still no divorce and have lost the house I owned, but as you say, freedom is priceless. Now I’m working on my emotional recovery! x*x
27th February 2016 at 9:15 am #10556
Hi all thank you for all the nice comments. I’m certainly not amazing, but I think I have stumbled on people who are he ping me to have courage. I know some people here have not had good experienced with the police but I have been very lucky. It’s funny I guess that in talking to male and female police I got an idea about different people and views and felt quite shocked that they were shocked at things I described. ..realisation that what I was living wasn’t normal. I have real struggled with having to deal with male professionals and certainly had issues with the social worker. I asked for a lady because having him in the house made me feel unclean and all frightened that someone in the family would find out and say I was something shameful. The next big thing for me is getting photos of all the scars. ..This is difficult for me because I feel very ashamed and embarrassed the same when it comes to describing how he assaulted me. My biggest worry In a way is how dumb I’m. Gonna look. The things i never been with anyone but him so I just accepted everything but I know there gonna think I’m an. Idiot. Like he told me that he could tell If I had been. With anyone by shoving his fist in me..I believed he could but also why did I let him tortuare me? There are some things I don’t know how to describe or I only can explain in Arabic. I wo ser if anyone e has gone to court for this stuff. ..do you think I can do it? The current charges are for threats and stalking
it really gives hope and happiness to everyone es doing well…especially people who kept me going before when even own family were telling me not to bring a a on the family by going to court and that I should just try to be a better wife
sorry long post….just in the mood for talking!
29th February 2016 at 8:43 am #10731Confused123Participant
So pleased for all the progress u making, yes u can do this and even though court part will be emotional tiring u will get through this, sounds like u have brill support and always remember being a good wife doesn’t mean having to tolerate abuse , u prob coming out of denial which is good and your brain is trying to process all the trauma, seek counselling , did wonders for me , will try to post more later
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.