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i heard him watching something recently about a man who was defending himself about hitting a woman, not sure what it was or the full content, but he was fully invested in it.
he has said he thinks woman who say that men are n**********c or bully them etc only say it so they don’t have to blame themselves for their behaviour and that women like to play victims!
I don’t know if these are his own thoughts or from something he watched or someone he’s spoken too, but whatever it is I’m totally shocked but I genuinely think he believes it and is completely justifying his behaviour as normal.
The way he carried on with me over absolutely nothing was shocking, I’ve been sensing he’s been looking for things over the weekend, he’s had something going on and I know he’s wanted to lash out but he can’t so I know he’s been looking for me to say the wrong thing, I think, so he can feel better about himself. At one point I thought he was smirking, as maybe he feels what he is doing is ok now he’s watched this show, clip or whatever it was.
How do you tell someone that this is not ok?
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Abusers always try to defend their behaviours so that they can continue controlling you. But you have to be very clear that you’re not ok with that. I think the way to tell sb and remind yourself that it’s not ok is to be assertive and clear about the impact of his behaviours on you, since that’s your relationship, if you don’t feel okay, it isn’t. No one can force you to accept something you can’t. It may be hard at first, but don’t let it put you down from trying.
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