Should I of reported it or should I not

[DustyWhiteRose]

After reading some of your heartbreaking and amazingly brave stories, I just wondered how many of you are glad that you had the courage to report the abuse or how many of you wish you hadn’t? There’s no wrong or right answer, just wondering if you feel you have been let down by the whole system or they helped and you are grateful, I hope this is okay to ask this
Thank you x*x

[Cantmakedecisons]

It’s a good question..

I’ll wait for responses as well.

[Shinystar]

Hi, im new here but tried to find something with the topic of going further. I have been going through domestic abuse for the past (removed by moderator) without realising until one physical incident happened (removed by moderator) ago and as my daughter witnessed it i reported it. Since then i have help from the local womens aid team, i have counsilling and solicitors involved. I did report to police but due to lockdown circumstances i had to visit the police officer in the local station carpark with ny daughter in the back seat. Therefore i could not say what i needed to as she is (removed by moderator) years old and listened to everything. Plus she was wary that i was takking to the police. The case was closed and was told it was a civil matter. Althought the operator on that took my call had written a report that it was domestic abuse. My ex is now taking me to court, why? As he believes he has done no wrong. Me..i have suffered. Therefore i will stand tall and go the whole way. I have of course had to re call the police and ask why they didnt take this furtner and help me, they have now re opened my case as this is domestic abuse. I have a meeting tonight to write a statement althought i have several evidence. My partner is now asking for a vast amount of money from me and this keeps changing. And i have realised this amount changes eaxh time he sees how ‘strong’ i am asif he needs one up each time. He has also claimed he is taking all furntite and leaving me and my daughter with nothing. Also if i do not pay up he is taking me to court. Really? Is it just me or do you sometimes question yourself that you are going too far by sticking up for yoursekf and that theres no point? I really hope the police will take thus further as this is causing so much anxiety and worry for me wnd my daughter. A breakup is wnough on its own let alone worry that we wilk be homeless and no money as i will have to pay him out the house. But i know him i know his games i know what he is doing. It is very hard for others to see. This is whats frustrating.

[Sleepy]

For me I would say yes it’s worth it even though I’ve not had the outcome I would have liked, which wasn’t anyone’s fault. I have been supported by rape crisis and the police and now getting counselling. It’s been a tough time, and still is, but I’m glad because I know I’ll come out stronger the other side of this.

[Cantmakedecisons]

Anyone else got advice?

Did you report.. if so what was your partners reaction?

[Teddy30]

My husband assaulted me (detail removed by Moderator) years ago. I went into auto pilot and rang the police. He was arrested and had to spend (detail removed by Moderator) away from me. He wasn’t bothered as he had a girlfriend as well. I started divorce proceedings then after the (detail removed by Moderator) were up he asked to meet. I thought to discuss the divorce. But I was truly weak and after seeing him and hearing him be so sorry I took him back. My advice, make the call. He did nothing after (detail removed by Moderator) months of being back to say how horrible I was to call the police and how long he was in a cell etc. Well if you hadn’t assaulted ME you wouldn’t have had that experience. Never look back ladies go forward I am a prime example that an abuser never ever changes. EVER. Once free keep going forward no matter how much you think you love them. Be strong. Xx

[Starmoon]

Hi, I reported every time he physically assaulted me and or smashed up my belongings. Unfortunately the police were absolutely shocking where I live and every time they either asked me what I’d done to make him angry, or told me it would never stand up in court so encouraged me to not make official statements. He then assaulted me in a completely different city, I called the police and they were fantastic.. so unbelievably understanding and nice to me.
It did cause me issues because social services were always informed when I called the police, and they ended up investigating me.. so I guess it’s conflicting advice. I would still say report it- because the system still needs to learn and these men should never get away with it!

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