Shouted

[Alittlelost]

He flipped and shouted at me. I froze. I felt so intimidated. The way he done it triggered me back to a kid and how other people in my life abused me as a child. This feels so bad.

[Lisa]

Hi Alittlelost

How are you feeling today?

I just wanted to show you some support. It’s not ok for him to treat you like this, it must be so difficult for you right now. I am sorry to hear about your childhood and how his behaviour is triggering. Please think about calling the police if you are frightened or feeling intimidated.

I hope you are able to do some grounding techniques and to try and look after yourself today.

Take care and please keep posting,

Lisa

[Alittlelost]

Thanks. Its first time in a very long time i felt like he could of got pyhsically violent with me or my pet but he didnt thankfully. He was very over worked and tired. He came said sorry after and knew i was upset. Was just bit scary seeing him flip. He flips rarely these days but it scares me when he does because what he done in the past.

Im ok today though. I think. He seens much better today.

[Anonymous]

Seems like it’s a pattern of behavior though, however spaced out. Not a good sign. A red flag to keep flying over your head because this could escalate… Rollercoasters and being on eggshells isn’t okay. Apologies don’t mean anything when they do it again.

Have you gotten help for your childhood abuse? I am thinking that is just under the surface with you. I was a child abuse victim as well and we don’t fully realize the damage because we had to be little soldiers as a child and just soldier on. But that little girl inside of you is still in big pain. You need help working through that with someone.

I think it would be an excellent idea for you to reach out to a DV worker and get one assigned to you personally and to also reach out to WA via chat or email as well. There are tons of reading on the “Book List” thread here on the forum so please start educating yourself if you haven’t already. Knowledge is power and you also need affirmation that you are not crazy and this isn’t your fault.

I’m glad you reached out here and will be glad to help you all I can. These other lovely ladies on here are just awesome human beings, been through the war as well, or still in it. We are all here for you so please keep talking. You’re not alone!

[Alittlelost]

Thanks for the reply. I have just started therapy for the childhood abuse but my therapist doesnt want to deal with that straight away. I read living with the dominator which i could relate to alot sadly in my situation.

I had a DV worker but i quit working with her because i felt bad that i moaned and then never left my partner. I emailed her today, i will see if she replies or not.

Thanks for the support.

[Lisa]

Hi Alittlelost

Thanks for replying. It’s good to see that Braelynn has given you some support.

I can understand how it must have been scary, there really is no excuse for him to behave like this even if he is overworked or tired. You have done the right thing by contacting your domestic abuse worker, I hope you manage to get some support.

Please keep posting, we are all here for you.

Take care

Lisa

[Anonymous]

Good!! So glad you did that! And a good therapist is going to know what to go into first here and the first priority is where you are on fire at the moment. You have to put that fire out and then be available with fuel in your tanks in order to totally focus on the childhood trauma. You really can’t do both. Very good to know that you have someone who you are working with. But the matter at hand has to now be taken care of because you can’t live like this sweetheart. No one should. DV workers know the abuse cycle, know all about it so you are never going to disappoint them. It’s what they do, are educated in all of it. They don’t take things personally either. We do that for them, right? LOL! So just hop right back up on that saddle and ride, okay? Talk to us here anytime, we’d love to support you, listen to you and all that. It’s a sisterhood kind of thing going on here and we love newbies!! xx

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