Silent screaming.

[Bleedingheart]

Hi,just needed a chat really. As I’ve said before I’ve had a couple of ops ‘downstairs’ due to his enjoyment of hitting me there. One of the wounds has never really healed, I’ve been jogging and getting fit which has helped me enormously mentally but it’s made my wound so much more painful. I’ve plucked up the courage today to book in at the doctors to have it looked at but how am I going to lie on a couch with my legs open for an examination?? The thought of it makes me want to throw up. The only saving grace is I’ve managed to get an appt with a lady who I’ve seen before and she’s lovely. What if she says I need some sort of corrective surgery? I don’t know if I could do it😔

[freedomtochoose]

Take it step by step lovely. This is really difficult and I have to say well done you for making an appointment in the first place. Honestly, many would have been too scared. I hate going to the docs or anything about ‘downstairs’ – so I’m proud of you for one.

Try to trust in the practitioner you have got. In the recent year I have been surprised at women in the sexual health clinic and their expertise, i.e. being totally non-judgmeental about my age, e.t.c
things are moving on in that front.

Do wish you well lovely
ftc
x

[Bleedingheart]

Thank ftc, I’m dreading it but at the same time looking forward to getting it sorted as it’s a constant reminder. Fingers crossed they can do something to help me that won’t involve anything too invasive x*x

[maddog]

You have been so brave and well done for getting fit. It is a huge advantage. Please raise your worries. If you seize up, it is a known condition and they should recognise it. (Detail removed by moderator). 

[Bleedingheart]

Thanks,I will,I’ve got to be brave and see it through now. Thanks for the support it really does me me feel stronger xx

[maddog]

I am so pleased you are being so brave. Please remember that you are not at fault for what has happened to you.

[maddog]

I have been given a chemical cosh. That silent scream deafens me.

[Bleedingheart]

I’m so sorry,sorry any of us are going through this. The world keeps spinning and some days all I have are flashbacks,panic attacks and a loud chaotic noise in my head of I can hear. Is this how it is for you?

[Author]

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