7th May 2016 at 10:16 am #16601betterdaysParticipant
Alone with the boys I’ve felt really vunerable and like a target. Lonely but saying that I’ve felt like this for a few years sorry for going on but nothing seems to be getting any better x
7th May 2016 at 11:34 am #16610SerenityParticipant
From whom do you feel a target? Him, or other people, Better Days?
I would say they when you were with him, you were the target of horrible abuse and neglect. From whom do you feel at risk? How could you make yourself feel more secure?
7th May 2016 at 12:00 pm #16616SerenityParticipant
What support systems do you have in place?
What do you do for yourself that your ex would never allow you to do?
What would make you feel really peaceful and happy? What’s stopping you do it?
Do you believe that you don’t deserve all the help you need, or that you aren’t worthy of treating yourself as special? Because you are. Everyone is special. It’s only abusers who don’t treat people like they are special.
You and your boys deserve to get the maximum help and enjoyment out of life. In whatever way you can.
I am sorry that your family are so unhelpful. That is no reflection upon you or your worth- it is based upon their inability to be giving.
I think we feel depressed of we feel stuck. And we feel stuck if we don’t believe we deserve more.
If we believe we deserve more, we will go out and fight for it. You should be getting support for your boys.
Remember how low he made you feel. Instead of using that energy thinking about that t*****, use it to get actual help which will give you respite and help and which will project you and your boys forward to an amazing and interesting life.
Leave him far, far behind. He hadn’t got the giving nature that you need. He hadn’t got the motivation to make you and your kids’ lives amazing. He is too self-centred. He will always think of himself.
Use that energy, anger, whatever is firing you up
right now, to make some changes.
You are an amazingly brave lady. You can achieve anything.
Leave him, supping his beer. He will still be at the same pub drinking out of the same pint glass in ten years’ time. Abusers are inflexible, selfish and boring.
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