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I spent the last few nights at a friend’s house, but I have nowhere to go now. No one can house me. I am back home, I have no choice. Depending on another friend’s circumstances, I may be able to spend parts of the week at her house, but it’s not certain. So what do I do? It means stopping work, so no income, and spending my last savings on renting, which doesn’t happen overnight. If I have no income, it wont go in my favour and I will have to try claiming benefits, which also takes time. It can all be done, but what on earth are SS thinking?
I did not slap my husband, strangle him, throw knives, drink, threaten to commit suicide, threaten to resign to scare him, coerce him to perform undignified sexual actions, cut him off finances, call him names for his choice of literature, the list goes on.
Why is my child better off with him? Why can’t they see what goes on?
My child told me he described how his head makes him think…and he asked the psychotherapist if that made him a psychotic person…where does all this come from? What do they discuss? Is he fed ideas? Is he mentally ill?
I am lost, exhausted, I bury my head in the sand…i totally collapsed on the phone with the school social worker. -
Hi Bridget
i really feel for u, i still cant work out why ss asked u to leave, was it for your safety? Can u not go into a refugee? if u could give more details why they asked u to leave i can try and think how to advise u anad guide u, ithink right now u need a lot of support from some one , im sure me and ladies will try and help u
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Bridget, go to CAB asap. Try to get into a refuge if that is possible, if not find out whether registering as homeless would be an option. Do not tell SS that you have somewhere to go.
Do not give up your job. Also, be careful what you tell at work.
I hope SS do not know where you work.
You could take sick leave from work for stress, so that they do not know what goes on with you.
(detail removed by Moderator)
Maybe your son is sick.
Also, look into shared accommodation. But do not tell SS that you do that. Let them deal with a women whom they made homeless. -
And another thing. There is a lot of racism in the services. I suffered racism because of my ethnicity. I was told to go home and that I was only here to work and for nothing else. I was told that I was not eligible to go into a refuge because of my ethnicity.
When they only saw my name things were fine. As soon as they saw me and heard my accent they treated me in a racist way.
He was always treated better.
They kept asking me whether I understood this and that and knew about this and that. I know the history and many things better than them. They belittled me a lot.
Maybe they are racists there too where you are. They do it very hidden and it is hard to proof. They are clever in their ways of doing it.
I sourced them out a long time ago. I am not nice in my approach to this kind of people because I have had it with them.
The services are full of racists, keep that in mind and watch out. Lots hate people with accents. I can see how they squeeze their faces when I talk. I am very sensitive to racism now. -
Hi Bridget,
Have you called Rights of Women and can you go to the CAB, ASAP?
I can’t comprehend how SS can be so dictatorial without assessing your circumstances.
Bridget, you need to get out of this toxic marriage ASAP. Divorce him. Sort the house and finances. Get a little place of your own where you can work and enjoy a small garden. You will have peace.
Your kids will never go against you long term. They are kicking out at the situation.
Thinking of you X
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Bridget:
In your mind’s eye, imagine a little cosy place of your own, with space in the garden to grow your vegetables and plants, and a peaceful room in your house to do your work.
This is what you have to keep as your focal point. This is what you can achieve in the end.
It will be hard to unravel everything- it is a painful process- but freedom will come in the end.
I know the reason why you have been asked to go, and I think it’s horrendous how his abuse isn’t being recognised. But like many of us here, you will need to let the truth unravel in its own time.
My boys are still ( partly) hoodwinked by my ex’s new mask. It will all come tumbling down. It’s painful to live with lies.
But I don’t think we can always control when or how the truth comes out. For now, your priority is to get yourself out of there. Your kids will need you when it all falls down. xxxx
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