single living

[Jupiter]

Hi

I wondered if any other survivors share my lifestyle in any way? Ever since my traumatic divorce in (detail removed by Moderator) I have stayed alone probably because I feel safer this way.My trust in people is not what it was then and I realise I do live a bit like a recluse.Ill go out to shop briefly attend a female knitting group in church(feels safe and women are nice) and thats about it.Im sure other women will understand that when you have come through a lot of shocks it affects a big chunk of your life–changes how you feel and think especially about trust in the world.
Its a humble life but one offering safety and a space to be me.In good moments I remind myself of the love in the world with all our charities helping people who need it smiles from others when we dont expect it surprise hugs or letters or maybe a nice remark here and there-beautiful songs poems and artwork.I know on a bad day these things are difficult to think of but on a good day it reminds me that there is a sense of goodness.This forum shows this too.
A big hug to anyone who needs it.
Jupiter x

[Serenity]

Hi Jupiter,

It’s your life. Live it as you want and how you feel able: don’t live it according to how others think you should.

We are all different. Nobody knows what you’ve been through nor what helps stabilise you. Only you do.

Safety and space are the two things I think we as survivors crave.

I’ve recently been making my home office mire comfortable and beautiful. I’ve bought a little heater that I can keep by my feet, and I’ve just ordered a big pin board which I will hang above my desk. This will have both practical reminders for things ( to help me keep organised) and beautiful post cards, to lift my spirits.

Art and writing used to be my passion and my escape. Engaging in it gave me a feel-good impression of the world, it made me feel at peace. My ex made sure he robbed me of any time and peace by which I could write or paint. According to him, I should be ‘doing’ firchim 24/7, and God forbid I dared to ever enjoy myself. I’m trying to rectify that now.

Yes, there are good people out there, just as there are bad ones. Just carrying on doing the things that lighten your step and being a song to your heart. 💛

[Jupiter]

Dear Serenity

Thanks for your input–really helps to know we are not alone.
I love the idea about your office.Do you still write and paint now in your created space?
My medicine is the written word and at the mo my manuscript is being scanned to memory stick.Hopefully the truth will be out there one day.
yes you are right saying only we know our history and struggles–one day at a time seems to be a practical survival strategy.
Simple things can cheer us up too–I have a string of coloured lights I like to have in my living room and in my bedroom I plug in a lovely night light which throws out lilac light.Such a comfort!
Think your ex robs himself of any peace or morality long term but you have these qualities forever whenever you choose. Jupiter x x

[Serenity]

Hi Jupiter,

I haven’t done any art for a while, nor writing. I work from home a lot so use the space for that- but I think I will feel more inspired to do things hobbywise once the room looks more beautiful and less functional!

I am glad you are writing x

[SaharaD]

I intend to live alone for a very long time. The thought of having a close relationship with other people scares me quite frankly. I’m doing ok on my own.

I have my struggles but I have the time and the space to work through my struggles wheare as before I neglected my self for other people especially my abusive husband.

[Author]

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