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    • #20106
      Starmoon
      Participant

      Since his (detail removed by Moderator), this has been the longest time ever that he hasn’t. (detail removed by Moderator) Initially I knew he wouldn’t contact me. That would be too obvious for him and he must be fairly sure I’d contact the police (I wouldn’t I think). But these last few days I’ve had this weird feeling that I’m going to see him or hear from him. I don’t want to- this time away has opened my eyes and I don’t want all my hard work to go to waste. The tjought of seeing him makes me panic… It must be me being paranoid. I know how silly this sounds it’s just that I’ve often been rite in the past when I’ve had a gut feeling he’d get in touch. I hope he doesn’t! The fear of him being in touch is setting me back never mind if he actually was

    • #20107
      Starmoon
      Participant

      I meant to say I ‘would’ contact the police

    • #20108
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Hi starmoon

      Being in an abusive relationship makes you hyperalert. You know their behaviour because because in the past it’s been a survival technique.

      Now because of the police being evolved he may stay away. But I cope but making a what if plans. Ie. If you came in contact and you already have. I do this because I panic and like a rabbit caught in the headlights do nothing. But if I have gone through it in my head I go on automatic pilot.

      All the best

      FS xx

    • #20109
      Starmoon
      Participant

      Thank you for your reply. You’re rite, that’s exactly what it’s like.
      I just hope I have the strength not to get sucked back in if he does get in contact. I found one of his t- shirts the other day and flung it as if it was on fire… I can’t even look at it. And I’ve seen a van that’s like his a few times and I feel like I’m going to be sick xx

    • #20112
      betterdays
      Participant

      Hi starmoon that’s just like me. I’m always on the look out for a (detail removed by Moderator) van especially when I’m driving home from school. Couple of weeks ago I drove back from school I saw the van come towards me and I put the sun screen down even though the sun wernt out I did it so I didn’t have to see his face. If I go pick my sister up my exes (detail removed by Moderator) so sometimes his vans outside. To make it worse he drives past my house all triggering. I guess we do have to try ignore it x

    • #20155
      godschild
      Participant

      Hi, It could be that you are so afraid of it happening, you are feeling it is going to happen if that makes sense, you are so so concerned and afraid that it is making it seem very probable and based on his past behavoir, it if does happen you should call the police straight away.
      Regards being sucked back in , I still feel very vunerable some days even tho ive ony left emotionally and have not gone near him physically for 6 months I do tempted to be drawn back in albeit I resist it every single time and I would say it is very early days of for you and you may well get drawn back in especially if he were nice to you. I saw a Lady on Tv who had been really beaten up by her abuser and not seen him for a long time until the court hearing and she saw him and he looked at her nicely and she was tempted to go back to him. xxxxxx

    • #20170
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Oh no, you are not paranoid. This is anxiety for a very valid reason!
      You could even be right. Listen to your senses and make an emergency plan. What would you do if he contacts you? What is the best reaction? Drop the phone? Run? Scream? Call 999?
      Play the scenario in your head and have the plan ready.

      If he does not contact you it does not matter. You are prepared for the eventuality. That should reduce your anxiety a little bit. I have a plan what to do if he contacts me. And I will follow it as played out in my head.

    • #20186
      Starmoon
      Participant

      Thank you so so much for validating my feelings ladies.
      my biggest fear is him contacting me… In any way to be honest. It’s not that I think he will be physical again, at least not instantly.. But I’m so weak. My only plan is to just try and avoid being dragged into any form of communication. If I were to see him out I will leave where ever I am instantly… If he calls or texts me then I have to just try and ignore what ever he says. In fact the police did tell me to change my number. He’s blocked but he could always use another phone if he knows my number. So I’ll change ir

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