Slating my friends- am I wrong in my reaction?

[Starmoon]

So after last weeks events when he came home from work and my friends were still there things have been awful. He’d already decided he wasn’t going to stay and in my opinion it’s because he wasn’t happy I was having fun. Being drunk I had the guts to stand my ground which obviously made matters worse. Both my friends who were there were confused as to why he left. (Detail removed by moderator)  How dare he say things like that about my best friend. So I say ‘no I’m not letting you disrespect my friend like that. I wouldn’t let them say things like that about you so you can’t say that about them’. He tried to justify it by saying that my friend had ago at him the night he left… I’m pretty sure she didn’t. Neither me, her or our other friend have any memory of her saying anything. She was on her phone at the time. He then hung up the phone on me- like I’ve just started something! Erm no! I’ve just said its un acceptable to talk about the people I care about like that. I’m so angry because he will say this is me causing a problem!!

[Herindoors]

I recognise this behaviour starmoon. My ex didn’t have a nice word to say about anyone (even people he considered his friends, he’d talk badly about them to me) and would regularly talk badly about the few friends I did have. This was always worse when I was spending time with them, because he didn’t want me to spend time with them.

Its hard to believe that these abusers strategise abuse like this but they do – its a tactic to put you off people and stop seeing them so he has won and you spend all your time with him. Also I think my ex did it as he wanted me to agree with him so we could have a toxic conversation about people which he would have fed off….because putting down other people made him feel better about himself.

Take care xx

[Starmoon]

Thanks for your reply. It’s not the first time he’s done this. He of course will say it’s me causing a drama and starting a row. He says he hung up the phone because I’d said on the night he left, both my friends thought him and me were wrong in how we acted.. Which actually I agree with but of course he’d never agree he was even partially wrong. I’ve replied by saying I’m not getting into that again. That was between us and he has no right to talk about my friends in that way, I won’t let him put this on me and I’m switching my phone off. So I’ve switched it off and don’t have to read his stupid blame slinging replies. I’m sure I’ll be back on here later because he’s dumped me for my unreasonable response x

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