Sleep deprivation

[Gerbil]

I woke up this morning groggy, having had very little sleep. I was stopped from going to bed when I wanted, then had the usual rant for an hour with a list of things I do wrong, then was woken up again (when I had just fallen asleep) to be told about a job I needed to do today.
I have looked online and I did not realise that sleep deprivation in DA relationships is very common.
Does anyone else have any knowledge or experience of this?
Take care everyone x

[Everhopeful321]

Yes – me too. Weirdly, also last night but it’s happened before and I too am only making the link to it being a form of abuse. With our work we need an early start, or at least one of us does…as you can imagine it’s always me which means I’m tired at night. He is less so but will keep me up (ie would be cross if I went to bed without him) and once in bed will prevent me from sleeping in numerous ways. Last night as is often the case he continued to pull me apart over something that had happened earlier in the day until the early hours, interspersed with anger, anxiety, suicide threats…to the pint that I’m so tired I don’t know what to say or do. He then will expect the obvious to ‘make things better’ which I end up giving in to. To then have to be up again at (removed by moderator) and start all over again. It’s just another form of control isn’t it, but I just don’t know how to break the cycle, this isn’t normal behavior. I don’t mean to hijack but your words just sound so familiar, I have little to offering help but you’re definitely not imagining this x

[Bananaboat]

Yes, it’s another form of control and you’re easier to manipulate when groggy. Look up Dr Ramani x

[RedStrawberry]

I had no idea about this til someone on here mentioned it a few months ago. My ex would complain that we didn’t spend enough time together on an evening (he worked til early hours on some shifts) then hed go out friends instead of staying in with me. What I did notice is when he did stay in he would either expect sex or he would get drunk. Those nights when I would say I was going to bed he would start telling me how much he loved me etc cos you always tell the truth when drunk or ranting about something irrelevant for hours. By this time I would be exhausted and still would have to get up in the morning to get kids to school while he could stay in bed til he either went to work in the afternoon or had the day off. He then had the cheek to complain I’d wake him up when the alarm went off because I’d not woken up before it like usual as I’d been up hours later than usual. He would the tell me what a good conversation we had night before and how we’d reconnectd etc.

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