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    • #144677
      Newgirl
      Participant

      Oh the joys the paranoia and the snide comments have started again this time you can get your phone out of hiding so I proceed to take it out of my pocket and show him there is nothing on it and as he goes to bed he says I know you are hiding something! Oh what a treat talk about putting me on edge before bed there goes my sleep for the night! The thing that gets me is he says these things as he is going to bed so just comments I wish I said if you think that then finish it! Of course I wasn’t brave enough to say it but they all mount up and one day I will say it I know I will x x x x x x

    • #144680
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Oh how I remember our bedtime little routines , I wasn’t allowed to stay downstairs in my own home if he was going bed , I had to go to bed with him , god forbid I decided to stay downstairs then he would be up / down calling me names , accusing me of stuff ? Ridiculing me in my face . This because I didn’t go to bed with him at his time . I didn’t get much sleep either as it escalated into a heated argument that went on for hours , resulting in me crying and being told I’m not the normal one ! I hope one day soon you will find your voice to end it honey , weird creatures whom don’t deserve our time or tears . I wonder if his acting this way towards you as you are not going up with him , does he expect that ? Control !

    • #144681
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Mine mainly happened at bedtime , as I went against him , I was meant to be all tucked up waiting for him , not the other way round . Then they see this as rejection as why are you not with them in bed ? So what are you doing downstairs?

      • #144685
        Newgirl
        Participant

        You are spot on! I have told him I have no libido well that must mean I am having an affair or talking to people online! If he is here I will go up early and he keeps coming up to use the toilet or look for the cat (hoping to catch me out) which I’m not doing anything so he won’t! if he is at work the next day he goes up and drops the comment on the way up. I never go to bed at the same time as him on purpose. I need to find my voice soon as much as I say it doesn’t get to me of course it does I’m fed up being questioned all the time I hardly leave the house so his only accusation is my phone! I feel I’m on the verge of saying it x

    • #144708
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      When you do finally have the voice to say it , follow through , I made so many mistakes in saying out of temper it’s over only to take him back . I finally cut the cord a few months as I was determined this time not to go back anymore. I never had a happy day living with my ex , all conditions, control , high expectations that no one can live up to , you get to the point of not caring or trying to make anything work as it’s hopeless to have a happy life . The living on eggshells, the look of disapproval , snide comments, abuse , control , sarcasm, the list is endless x

      • #144747
        Newgirl
        Participant

        I feel that! The eggshells comment especially. It’s not a nice way to live at all. The comments make me angry as the next day he acts like nothing has happened all part of the mind games! I need to stick with it as it has taken me so long to realise it and accept and now to say it. I have hope that I can wake up in peace when I get out I can wake up and not worry x the support here is what is helping so much I now don’t feel alone x x x x

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