So alone

[Alittlelost]

Ive never felt so alone in my entire life. Im sat here crying feeling like what does it matter if i wasnt here. Ive moved to a city were services dont care and they are all i had and sad as it dounds if even people who are paid to care about me dont care then why the hell should i? I have one person i could reach out to but i fear consquences too much. Theres no one u can just talk to without consquences. I feel trapped and sufficated in this lonely place.

[lover of no contact]

I think you’re great the way you’ve reached out for support in here despite the awful feelings you’re going through at the moment. That can be so hard to do but at least you asking for help and support from us. You are doing all that you can in your very difficult situation. You can’t control him and his awfulness and you can’t control the services and the support from them all you can do is keep taking the action which you are doing by posting on here. I find reading the other posts always helps me too. I pick up something that resonates with me and helps me. Hang on in there. Leaving him is a process and in my case took slot of time and reaching out for support because I felt too trapped and afraid to leave. But I did get free..not by me leaving (I just couldn’t do it) .. but he decided to discard me (it was a scare tactic to get me back into being subservient)sending me a letter looking for a separation. I decided not to beg him to not do it but I grabbed the opportunity to break free and went with the process. As I’ve shared before many times I actually got down on my knees and begged God to help me break free from him as the emotional pain I was in was so awful. I feel for you being in that pain right now; it’s so awful but it doesn’t mean you won’t eventually get away from him. You will. You’re really persevering despite your past and present abuse. You will get there.

[Wants To Help]

Hi there,

Have you moved to a new city due to abuse? Are you in Refuge? Do you have children with you or is it just you? What are the consequences of reaching out to the one person that you feel you could reach out to? I too know what it is like to be all alone with no one, I was in the place (detail removed by moderator) ago.

Tell us a little more and I’ll see what I can try and help with.

 

[KIP.]

I saw a quote recently that said ‘action conquers fear’. It really struck me. You’re not alone. We are all here for you, you will always have the support from the women on here who have walked on your path. I was with my abuser for almost three decades and I managed to break free. Slowly, try thinking of 3 positives. Try not to overthink. Just say 3 2 1 and go do it x reach out x

[Alittlelost]

No my partner moved us here for his work. We move city nearly every year or so.i never make any froends or get settled anywhere before we move again. Normally i atleast have a community mental health team but here they arnt at all intereasted in helping me. My gp is just as useless.
There really arnt any positives about me.

[KIP.]

That’s the abuse talking. I remember going from one negative feeling to another when I was being abused. Now it’s one positive experience to another. Try to think of something that brings a smile to your face. Do you have a pet or any hobbies you enjoy. Growing plants, watching a comedy, a favourite comedian, tv show. Slowly building things into your life that give you pleasure is really important for your mood. Try to build something for yourself that doesn’t include your partner. Do you have colouring in books or any craft hobbies? I had to start slowly and re wire my brain x

[Wants To Help]

I’m not sure if your partner prevents you from going out alone and meeting people or not, but if you are allowed to go out and do things could you see if there are any volunteer options at the moment to help deliver groceries or prescriptions to vulnerable people in your area? With lockdown being on it’s harder than ever to try and make new friendships or start up new interests, which makes the feeling of being isolated and alone so much harder.

I too was isolated due to my partner’s work, we actually moved to a new country and it was just me, him and our small child – and the abuse then got worse. He had me all to himself with no family or friends to ‘interfere’. Those friends I did start to make got scared off by him due to his awful behaviour so I was soon all alone again. However, I started volunteering in the community at a local church and met people that way. The support I got from thereon was crucial to my recovery after leaving my abuser for good. If you like animals you could maybe see if the local RSPCA, dog or cat shelter need any help at the moment with looking after the animals. Elderly people self isolating may appreciate their dog being walked or something. However, I appreciate these ideas are dependant on how much freedom you are allowed by your partner.

Please do not think you are useless / no good at anything. This is a sign of depression. We are all good at something.

[Lisa]

Hi Alittlelost

I just wanted to show you some support, I can see that you have already had supportive replies.

You are not alone, we are all here for you on the forum so please keep reaching out to us. Are your local domestic abuse service able to support you? I know it’s tricky at the moment because of the current situation but maybe once things are better you could see if there are any support groups in your local area, where you can meet other women in similar situations. Please also speak to Samaritans if you are feeling low.

Take care and keep posting,

Lisa

[Alittlelost]

Kip i have a pet and one young family member i care alot about but even my mind tells me they deserve better then me in their life. They both make me smile though. I cry when i think about if i left them behind and feel guilty for wanting that but then i tell myself again they will find better people in life then me. My mind is torture. I feel i hear vouces torturing me with all ive been made to feel so worthless. Theres absoultly nothing good about how i look or my personality. I have nothing to offer anyone.

[Author]

Posts