So close to leaving but keep running into problems

[wishfulthinking]

I am so close to finally leaving, ive seen a solicitor with help from health visitor and  group. Ive even told the police about my situation and my gp.
The thing is tho, my plan to get oit safely is falling down with one thing or another and im at the point thinking is it even worth all this trouble? Im a walking disaster, i cant sleep, keep googling things thinking of the worst case scenarios, ive got diahhrea really really bad because from all the stress, im so fed up and tired with all the thinking and planning, and now im running into difficulties because my “safe exit plan” is not safe anymore.
My ppan was to leave when husband goes on holiday (detail removed by moderator) because i have (detail removed by moderator) kids and most of the furntiture is inherited, therefore mine,i had it all planned out that i will get a removal van, take my furniture to storage and stay at my sisters because i will be safe there until husband gets evicted.
But now ive found out that my husbands family member is going to be staying here the week my husband leaves because hell be standing in and its too far for him to travel to his house and back (husband has always left him here whrn hes gone away somewhere) so now i cant leave.
I was already doubting myself if everythings all in my head because husband has been okay with me (i think due to excitement of upcoming holiday) so im questioning everything now, even tho i know i do not want to spend the rest of my life with my husband.
Im emotionally and physically drained with all these things going on. I dont know what to do now except accept defeat and stay where i am, even tho i know that i will never have this chance again for ages if i back out now.
I know its petty thinking about taking furniture with us instead of just getting essentils and leaving, but i inherited it from my mum, who passed away (detail removed by moderator)so its more sentimental value than anything as i cant trust my husband to leave it behind also or not to damage it out of spite.

Please somebody advise me on what you think is best because im ready to give up on my plan and stay with husband, even tho i know it will probably be the second worst mistake of my life (the first was marrying him)

Thank you, much a00reciated

[Formeandmyboys]

For what it’s worth, I’m new here so probably not ‘qualified’ to comment. . . I’d just go ahead as planned.
What is your husband’s relative going to do to stop you? You can move all the stuff out and go while he’s out (detail removed by moderator)? And, if your husband is away ( I presume he’s going to be a long way away?) even if his relative contacts him he won’t be nearby to intervene?
You have come so far and got so much of your plan in place that it would be a shame not to just do it. Just focus on what still needs to be done, once said nephew is out of the way, yes?
Stay strong and good luck to you!
Keep us posted.

[wishfulthinking]

Im sorry i forgot to add that the relative wont do anuthing, apart from call my sister in laws, his mum and mums sister, 2 of the worst people in husbands family who like beating people up, and have indirectly made threats to “beat me up n teach me a lesson fot making their brothers life hell”.
They dont stay that far away, and obviously im not going to be given the heads up whem relative calls them.

[freedomtochoose]

My suggestion would be – if at all feasible to ask for assistance either from women’s aid, the police or both. Explaining that you need someone on call and there as you are afraid of recriminations and violence.

Alternatively, a friend?

I would say go ahead with your plan. If you need to leave stuff behind there is always the option to go back (with the police and retrieve stuff). It is illegal for your ex to destroy belongings so if he tries you can report this as well.

Ultimately, your safety and that of your children is worth more than any item of furniture which you could replace. You are potentially talking about your lives here. Sounds like the time has come to put those first. I’m sure the police will back you. You are doing this for yourself and your kids.
As long as you have important documents, some clothes for the kids etc and yourself you will find that as soon as you are out you will start sleeping better and may even feel exhilarated for what you have achieved. Don’t stop now, I would say.

all the best of luck and prayers if this is helpful

will be thinking of you

ftc
x

[KIP.]

There was always something stopping me. You need to stop overthinking and just take that leap of faith. Once you’re out at your sisters you can return with a police escort if you need to get your furniture out then. Or tell your relative you have a doctors or hospital appointment. When you say evicted. Do you plan on getting an occupation order to get him out? In which case once it’s served you can change the locks and dump his stuff with family. Please don’t put it off because of furnishings.

[Lisa]

Hi Wishfulthinking,

I just wanted to send you a little message to say please do try the helpline for some advice and support. Perhaps they can help advise you on a safety plan and help to put you in touch with your local Women’s Aid group who should be able to help you.

Please try to find a safe time to give them a ring and then let us know how you are getting on.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Author]

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