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    • #10695
      seaside lass
      Participant

      Hi,
      Yesterday I did it, packed his bag, left it in the garage, and texted him. Took the kids to the pictures and was going to tell them when I came home. He went straight to my brothers, and my sil told him where we were. He came to the pictures, and we went outside to talk. He was all calm, and shocked by what I’d done (today he even asked if I’m mentally stable as it’s not the actions of a sane woman). He said he was sorry for calling me a c*** on Christmas Day, even though he can’t remember it and only shrugged when I told him a few weeks ago. There was no sincerity there. He said he has nowhere to go, and he doesn’t want to miss out on being with the kids. I was so happy knowing I had an end to this, and now I feel trapped as I’m so soft. He’s saying that he can change, but that I’m at fault too. He makes every point I say sound pathetic, and most of them individually seem like nothing, but altogether it is abuse, I know it is. I wish it was me that was leaving, then we would have left, and he’d be at home with his hurt ego, as I’m sure most of this is. He keeps telling me that he’s never loved anyone like he loves me. I read some of a book Why Does He Do That, and it’s all textbook, even down to the early days. I want this ended, but looks like it’s going to be the long game…

    • #10699
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Well done! Stay strong now! This is a very difficult phase and we tend to take them back.
      Please do not take him back.
      He needs to look after himself. We live in a patriarchic world where the men are expected to be the providers.
      Now he can fulfill this f… role and fend for his livelyhood. He was strong when he was abusive, now he can continue to be strong finding his own way.
      It is interesting how they can turn out their manhood when they abuse us, but when it comes to survival they are less able than children.
      They are the ones who are mentally unstable, not the women who finally have enough of their bs. x*x

    • #10701
      seaside lass
      Participant

      He’s already back, he’s upstairs watching football, suppose that’s better than being at the pub and coming home drunk, and says things that he can’t remember!!
      He’s already done the he has nothing to live for without us, he loves me so much, how can I take the kids away from him. So far I’ve seen no change, apart from instead of going to the pub he’s gone upstairs. But, there’s been no nastiness, and it wasn’t everyday, sometimes very sporadic, but then there’s been no help either. Today I’ve been food shopping, tidied kitchen etc (dishwasher load/unload), washing putting away, I took the bedding up and he wanted me to help put it on, I usually do it my myself, so I put it on the bed (not on on, just dumped it) and came downstairs. I know I sound petty, but I work full time too, and this work should be shared a bit…
      As I said, it’s going to be the long game, but I’ll get there xx

    • #10711
      Ayanna
      Participant

      I know how hard it is. Just be careful and throw him out for good if he misbehaves. You are the boss, do not forget this ever. x*x

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