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    • #11624
      Sparkle1
      Participant

      I feel embarrassed coming on here & saying that I miss the nice parts of my life with my ex, I’ve really tried since being out to be put on a front and get out and about to show everyone around me that I’m getting my life back but inside I feel completely lost and am starting to realise that I am actually surrounded by a lot of controlling friends that have now taken over my life too, I was taking to one close friend today that is particularly controlling over my free time now and I said to her that I’m starting to realise that I need to change how I let people treat me as I feel I’m now controlled in a different way this friend has a very unhappy toxic marriage she’s out all the time and having affairs etc but has been so judgemental about mine constantly telling me to get my head out my arse not feel sorry for myself get over it etc so I snapped today and said how dare you keep having a go at me when your relationship is so toxic why can’t she focus her aggression towards my situation and sort her own life out I’m so fed up of being attacked for my feelings because she’s knows all the things that were wrong it’s made me look at things differently because behind closed doors a lot of the people in my life have got toxic relationships I feel so confused today I wish I had dealt with things differently with my ex I feel like I’ve opened myself up to be constantly judged by people that are supposed to care about me xx

    • #11625
      godschild
      Participant

      You have no need to feel embarresed, I am so up and down with mine, it is normal to feel you miss the nice parts, I have seen other Ladies who feel the same.
      It is not our fault that they have nice parts and then the horrible ones, there is also trauma bonding , have you read about that, which can make you feel so attached to them.
      I am also seeing Friends and family that are controlling or not good for me and im taking a big step back from everyone, I think when we have been abused we are very vunerable to others and just put up with so much as we have been made to feel worthless and had our opinions and feelings squashed so much.
      Your Friend has no rights telling you to get over it , it takes ages and as you say she is coping with hers by doing all sorts of things to avoid facing it
      I would take a break from her other wise you are still being controlled and abused, she is not validating your feelings, you dont need this type of relatonship, you need time to heal.
      No one has the right to judge yo in anyway they have not walked in your shoes , people are too quick to say what they think.

    • #11626
      Sparkle1
      Participant

      Thank you for listening I feel like I’ve got no where else to turn to be honest about how I really feel and I would usually apologise for what I said to her today but for the first time I stood up to her and I am not saying sorry because I have put up with her especially being so opinionated and controlling with me when her own life is a mess and I just stay silent, she was the main reason I got him out of my house because she constantly hounded me about how wrong my relationship was and now I’m out I feel like it was for her own benefit she uses me as an excuse for when she meets up with her affair even left me in a night out to meet him and as soon as I say anything about feeling sad or missing my ex she comes down on me full force and Im starting to realise her intentions are not good xx

    • #11627
      missgiddypants
      Participant

      of course you miss the nice parts of your life ,it can take a long time to build yourself a new life of your own that you can be happy with ,don’t let this friend get to you ,she has no right to tell you to get over it ,it’s like when someone is bereaved, I never say Life goes on as we all deal with it differently don’t let her walk all over you ,stand up to her ,as they say with friends like that who needs enemies x

    • #11642
      Sparkle1
      Participant

      Thanks missgiddypants I think I’ve finally had enough of trying to keep the peace and suffering in silence we all fight are own battles i really feel that I don’t want her in my life anymore because she makes me feel bad about myself and ridicules me because of my relationship it’s just cruel xx

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