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    • #132979
      Headspin
      Participant

      My oldest daughter has been very supportive of me since she found out that my husband was not only abusive to her but to me also. She’s good about keeping in contact although we don’t see her very often. She was home for (detail removed by moderator), understandably preferring to stay with a sibling. I’m just so sad that (detail removed by moderator) before she left, my husband was just being himself, talking about (detail removed by moderator), sucking the fun out of her visit with his complaining. Moaning about everything. The whole afternoon was just a cloud of despair, I’m just so sad that her family home isn’t the place it should be, I feel so upset and tearful, I just want a happy home.

    • #132987
      Eggshells
      Participant

      Hi Headspin

      I can understand how you feel. As caring mothers we want our home to be a welcoming, island of safety for our children, no matter how old they are.

      Sadly, a home with an abuser will never be that.

    • #133016
      Mime
      Participant

      Hi Headspin I’m sorry it’s like that for you and your daughter.

      I am finding this is the hardest thing of all – my children (detail removed by moderator) young adults) don’t want to visit because he’s in the house and they hate the atmosphere and are upset with me that I’m still with him.

      Then to rub salt in the wounds, he gets angry and resentful when they do visit, and he sulks like a child because he thinks I give them too much attention. I’m scared to tell him when they’re coming, and when they’ve gone he’s angry with me for days.

      He’s ruining my relationship with my children and its the thing that hurts more deeply than anything.

      I’m sorry you’re going through something similar. Its the saddest feeling of all. Sending you love xxxx

    • #133021
      Bettertimesahead
      Participant

      One of my biggest regrets is not ending things earlier as my adult boys could not really enjoy the house. It’s the one thing we’ve all commented on since he’s gone, the face we can relax and have friends round to a tidy house with no attitudes. Not sure if I will be able to stay here, that’s will be in hands of court but for now we are.

    • #133041
      Headspin
      Participant

      Thank you for responding. Yes, Eggshells, you’re right, an abuser will never allow the home to be safe and welcoming.
      Mime, I’m so sorry to hear about your situation, I can only imagine how hard and hurtful this must be for you. It must be very difficult for your children to understand, but then that’s the whole mess of abuse, it hurts so many people.
      Bettertimesahead, I like your title (inspiring!) How lovely that you can relax in your own home nowadays, an entitlement sadly lacking with abuse. I know what you’re saying about wishing you’d ended things sooner, glad you’re going forward though.

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