29th December 2015 at 11:54 am #6716littlepony1Participant
I mentioned in my previous post that i had blocked him. Although I am glad he didn’t turn up at Christmas, I was thinking about him all day worrying about him on his own. Maybe him not turning up means he has met someone else…. I know it’s for the best and I have done the right thing, but I lived with him for a long time, and now it’s over, I’m so down and miss who I thought he was xx
29th December 2015 at 1:27 pm #6721Falling SkysParticipant
We are or were in love with the dream not the reality of our ex’s. (I use we because I feel it too)
Also we must realize that if he has some one new or not its nothing to do with us.
I look at as we are their favorite abuse toy and they will be doing what every is needed to keep us on high alert. If ignoring you is what needed they will do that, if bombarding you with texts, calls they will do that, if turning people you hold most dear they will do that.
I am so proud of you blocking him, I know it was hard for you but zero contact is the best way forward and in time it will get easier.
Hugs and stay strong xx
29th December 2015 at 2:01 pm #6724Amethyst15Participant
Second the no contact. My ex turned up on Christmas eve out of the blue bearing cards to me and his adult children. Never bothered in the past, just another tactic to worm his way in. First family Christmas without him so was always going to be hard but he just had to get inside of our heads. So full of themselves…grrrr. not content with spending Christmas with his girlfriend and using our joint home to do it!! Yes falling skys ‘abuse toy’ exactly that. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be free of him. We’ve got to keep remembering we have more strength; more care; more everything than these pathetic excuses who we had the misfortune to love x
29th December 2015 at 3:00 pm #6732TamraParticipant
Yep missing the what we thought we could have had or the Mr Charming at the beginning – oh my god mine was the most charming supportive person I could have ever met but Now I look at that and think it was the most manipulating part of him and if only he could have been real he would have been the most amazing man ever but nope 🙁
Its hard when we miss them but the ladies are right however hearing ‘abuse toys’ is hard to hear even though I know thats probably what I was and to support his own broken ego.
mine is allowing his ‘new toy’ to flaunt their life together on FB so it is horrible to even know or guess they are with someone else.
Fallingskys your words ‘nothing to do with us’ I have heard on quite a few occasions now and I find them hard words to hear even though I know they are right and the way I flipped this was by thinking would I want him to know what I am doing – No, even though I sometimes want him to know I love him or cry about him miss him etc. but this would be lethal.
It is a really hard time and being abused is just awful but stay strong and keep posting
29th December 2015 at 7:57 pm #6756Falling SkysParticipant
Hi Tamra, that’s a better way of putting it. I don’t want him to know my movements and that’s why I won’t show interest in his. He was even trying to choose me a place to live!!!!
30th December 2015 at 12:56 pm #6786TamraParticipant
Hi Falling Skys
Its just awful what they do, Mine wanted me to live where he picked too but nowway was I doing that. I have been gone (detail removed by Moderator) months and I do miss him loads but in the long run it will be for the best.
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