- This topic has 9 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 2 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
So last night he has decided to wake me up at (detail removed by moderator) I’ve been awake since three and now have to go to work, he was sleeping after he woke me up and has now decided he’s not working. todaY. I’ve spent all night crying and I’m so exhausted I just don’t know how I’m going to function today.
-
I think sleep deprivation is definitely a tactic of abuse. He knows that in general people dont cope when they havent recharged their batteries. Brain wise definitely for me, it throws you off kilter from the very thing he asking you to do. so he wants perfection (detail removed by moderator) but dosent let you rest? so in turn your going to feel angry,irritable and frustrated – then he will blame you for supposedly having an attitude. its all designed to cause an argument and therefore he has an excuse to abuse you. (Detail removed by moderator).
My ex used to have a tv blaring all the way through the night he would watch war films so it would be like bombs going off and i would get a fright. Looking back back it was all designed as above. it actually made me hate him i would be so full of rage for him. His family though i was the grumpy one(i was exhausted)when i went back to bed during the day he would call his mum and they would gossip about how lazy i was being. i was the one working btw he wasnt able to work due to depression (which was untrue) i believe in my case this allowed him to project on to me. his mum also she would be stressing about her work and having to look after our daughter to let me work! (the truth was she worked 6 hours a week!!) lol xx luv diymum
-
-
Sleep deprivation is classic in the abusers arsenal. I bet he’d already known he wasn’t going into work today, such a bully. It amazes me how these men can sleep so easily, go to work, socialise, even do simple things like bathing, eating.
Have you contacted anyone yet about his behaviour towards you. This is a perfect scenario to report to your doctor. Log it in your journal too. Your doctor is there for your mental health just as much as your physical. Opening up to someone in authority at your work to, it might help. Knowing what you’re going through, they might be able to lessen your workload fir a while. It’s hard telling people but once your do, you will be amazed at how many people are there for you.💚💜IWMB 💕💕
-
Sounds so like my ex. I had hardly any sleep when he was here. He didn’t work so he didn’t care if no one got any sleep at night. He could sleep all day. He liked keeping me permanently unable to function. Made me easier to control. Until I wasn’t.
-
So after last night he spoke to me today and said if everything could just be finished he could get my money for me, so I did everything again tonight checking it was all ok, he came home and said it wasn’t a ripped it up again and I lost the plot and I’ve hit him, I’ve never touched him before but I was so frustrated and tired, I’m so upset now I can’t calm down and keep feeling sick and having trouble calming my breathing down, I can’t stop crying I just want to leave w
-
It seems to be a standard of behaviour amongst them. I used to be so fatigued all the time, utterly exhausted. Particularly if I had something important on. Presentations at work, promotion interviews, anything really. Sometimes for no particular reason I could figure out. He had lots of ways of keeping me awake when he wanted to.
I fell asleep at my desk once, only for a few moments but still. Used to curl up in the back seat of the car and sleep during my lunch hour. -
This is what I call saturation point its where you cant take anymore so the reaction is to knee jerk- fight-flight or freeze.
I have reacted like all of the above. My ex pushed me so far that i hit him across the head with an object. He had terrorised me for weeks and i was also sleep deprived to the point i felt like i was going mad.
It sounds like it time to thin about an exit plan – please don’t feel guilty – you were driven to this that was the same in the instance above. Look at this as a sign – this is escalating and pushing down this road makes him think now he has the right to retaliate. Don’t play in to his hands these men are calculating. Id call womens aid and get advice. Its obvious you cant go on like this xx This very situation for me was a sign because these situations can and do get out of hand. Time to walk away xx much love diymum
-
Hitting back is in response to our fight/flight feelings, but it also gives them justification in their heads to hit us harder. My other half plays this game periodically. He’ll hit me, hard enough to get a reaction, so I’ll retaliate either verbally or physically, he them hits harder as do I and so it continues. In his head he’s not recognising what he’s done to me, only the fact that I hit him first. There’s no winning with these men, the more we allow the little hits, the more likely the bigger, harder ones will follow at some point. It’s very hard not to retaliate, but I’ve learned, through reading others posts, by reading living with the dominater and why does he do that, they are giving me the tools to live with him until I find my strength and courage to leave.
Best wishesIWMB 💕💕
-
Today I am so angry, I am angry I am loosing my home again and having to rebuild again because of a man, I am angry because I have given up on myself and being controlled again by a man. Hes speaking to me as though nothimg has happened which is making me even more stressed, I have had a terrible migrane today but still have had to go to work and look after my children. I have started looking for somewhere to live today but not hopeful as letting agaents are never keen on the single mother claiming housing benefit, even though I’m working and studying to try and make a better life for myself. I just dont know what I have done to be have this nightmare of a life, I’m not a horrible person….
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
