So new to this but not new to the situation.

[Cherryhome]

I really need help. I have been with my partner for over (detail removed by Moderator). He is a very big drinker, I would say a working alcoholic really.
He is now a nasty drunk. Never physical but loves to shout and put me down. My life is horrible and I need help. I will never have a good life with him because his 1st priority is drink.
He says he not leave without me paying him off and don’t k ow my options. It is my house but he does pay me money every month but then take a most of it back on drink. I feel so stuck. Please, if anyone has any advice to help me because I feel like am going mad and don’t know where to turn.

[Lisa]

Hi Cherryhome,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the forum. I hope you find the forum a safe and supportive place to be with others who understand.

Your housing rights and his depend on the details of your situation. Take a look at this guide from the Rights of Women to find out more: A Guide to Living Together and the Law

If you feel like you are in need of some support, you could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat Service (open every day). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you.

Do keep posting to let us know how you’re getting on. We are here for you.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Managing111@]

I am also new but not new,I feel sad,angry and confused

[Managing111@]

Been married for (detail removed by Moderator) years to an alcoholic who is controlling also,we split (detail removed by Moderator) only to take him back renew our vows as he promised me the world only to abuse me by kicking me and threatening to punch (detail removed by Moderator)  he was arrested and put on bail to not contact me or enter my road.I feel such an idiot,Angry and lost as I still love him.

[Anonymous]

@Managing111@, please don’t feel bad for giving chances, your not an idiot your just forgiving and trying to make something work that you invested in.Abusive men capitalise on our guilt, kind and forgiving nature, you wanted to believe he’d change and things would be different (that’s not an idiot that’s just hopeful) your still hurting and maybe trauma bonded (maybe google the term if your unfamiliar) but where is the love for you? you need that now to not accept his disgusting unnecessary behaviour towards you. He’s shown you time after time that that is who he is, believe that’s who he is (a violent abuser) nobody deserves to be treated this way for trying to make a relationship work, you don’t deserve this he dosnt deserve your care anymore 💛🧡💛

[Anonymous]

Cherryhome you owe this man nothing, you’ve given all you can and got hurt by him, by his words, by his intimidation behaviour (and grown men shouting and using vicious words and put downs) is more than enough to instil fear and destroy self esteem, as it’s your property he should be the one to leave, you owe him nothing and could get him removed or change locks, either way it sounds like you’ve made up your mind (which is good) that this man no longer deserves a place in your life,
well done 🧡🤗🧡

[Author]

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