Some days are hard ones

[endoftherainbow]

Its my sons birthday tomorrow, I haven’t seen him for (detail removed by Moderator) years, he had already left home before I left my ex. We still had contact then, just now and then. When I left I thought we would be able to get closer but it hasn’t worked. When I left my ex he bombarded our son with abuse and he’s just switched off from me completely now. We were OK for a while, but now nothing, he ignores all my messages. Part of me understands why he’s done it, but it hurts SK much. I feel so guilty, if only I had got us out years ago. He left home quite young and could have gone down a bad path, but he stuck at things even though he living elsewhere and is doing brilliantly at uni and I couldn’t be prouder of him. I’m trying to cope with all the guilt and emotional baggage, but its hard. I’m trying to think of the positives, he’s doing well and hopefully one dash he will turn up at my door, but a txt would be just as good. Thanks for listening x*x

[KIP.]

Hey there, I’m in the same situation. My ex turned my son against me. After my ex was arrested he paid for my son to move out. He was still very young. The last time I saw him I hugged him, told him I loved him and that he knew where I was if he needed me. That’s all I can do but I do miss him. He seems to be happy enough getting on with his life. Although still very much controlled by my ex. I’ve been told by many people,that it’s not until they’re older and perhaps have a family of their own the they begin to see how abused we were. It’s still the dreadful sting in the tail of abuse. Try to keep building on your own life and let him come to you when he’s ready. Sending you a hug x

[Freedomfighter]

Hi Endoftherainbow,
So sorry to hear about your pain. It’s just like a physical pain, just as real as my migraines. My husband has convinced my eldest that I’m exaggerating, over reacting, hysterical etc. I almost abandoned my plans to leave because of it. I’m still going, just knocked me flat for a while. All we can do now is wait until their father push them too far like they did with us. We have to hope the fog will clear for them sooner and be there for them when it does. My heart goes out to you. This is a tough one, but we just have to keep telling them we love them and don’t blame them for believing in their father and have faith in them to eventually see the truth for themselves Hugs

[she-ra]

So sorry to hear this for you ladies, and I hope one day like you say the fog clears for them and they see the truth of your situations and re engage with you all. If it helps reading this has fuelled my need to leave to protect my babies and hope we can all heal together. Well done for being so strong.

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