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    • #7765

      Just thought I’d share with you some good news for a change. I start my Freedom Programme today. I’m quite excited and hope it will help me understand things better.

      I also got a letter yesterday to confirm that I have been offered counselling through the NHS starting next week. I’m going to take all the help they offer me.

      Now all I need is a home to move into and our new lives can begin. 🙂

    • #7771

      Good luck with the freedom programme! It’s also good news about the counselling, I know that can sometimes be a lengthy process! It’s good to hear that you’re getting some support 🙂


    • #7777

      Hi hun

      Well done stay strong and postive, the counselling will help so much ,did u not like that house u went to view ?

    • #7797

      That’s brilliant. I started mine on Monday so we can go through it at the same time x

      • #7892

        Hi there, The flat I went to view was awful so I didn’t take it. I just couldn’t see myself living there. I have more bids ongoing so fingers crossed I’ll get one of those.

        Feeling so tired today so not quite so upbeat as when I posted this. The first Freedom Programme session was good. A nice bunch of ladies and I made the effort to speak rather than be my usual quiet self. I intend to get everything out of it. My counselling starts tomorrow so that’s good too. Couldn’t have come at a better time really.

        Hugs for all. xx

      • #7948
        mixed-up mum

        Hi Doglover, can you tell me more about this Freedom Programme I hear everyone speaking about.

        I have never been offered it – did you get referred through WA or did you do it on your own?
        I’m guessing by what you have said that it is a group thing??

        I’m NOT good in a group situation, I’m so quiet and shy, and I never speak up, same as in my school days – its always the loud, confident, outgoing ones who get heard – shy quiet ones like me fade into the background, and are never seen or heard……

        So not sure if that would be any good for me…..???

        And can I ask too – how do you get counselling?? I have never been offered that either…..

        Do you pay for Freedom Programme and/or the counselling??

        Cos if you have to pay I have no money for that…..

        How are you today?

        Take care, x*x

    • #7878

      Well done! Although i never joined the freedom project they were rather unhelpful and inflexible for me I did undergo counselling. It worked well for me and i am now in a better place mentally and have moved forward. I have had 10 sessions and now i need a break from it but i will be going back in the future.

      Good luck

    • #7883

      That’s good! I worked through the freedom programme online and found it really helpful to make sense of things. Good luck xx

    • #8048

      Hi mixed-up-mum, re the freedom programme, it is a group thing, we have 10-15 ladies at ours. My dv support worker (through local council, attached to WA) recommended it and put my name forward. I was put on a waiting list though because they are so popular (sad isn’t it) and had to wait about 6 months for mine. Maybe you can look up your local council’s pages for domestic violence and someone there should know if there is a group near you. If you have a dv support worker, they will know too. It’s based on Pat Craven’s book Living with a Dominator (which is good, I would recommend it) and each week they deal with a different topic. Last week’s session was about the bully which was a perfect start because my husband is one. I too am usually shy and stuck for words with strangers but I am determined to make the most of this so I forced myself to open up, speak out and ask questions. The ladies all have different stories to tell which is helpful (for me at least). The course is free. If you find one I’m sure you can ask for a place yourself without anyone recommending you for it.

      Re the counselling, mine is through my GP and it’s on the NHS. I went to see my dr a couple of months ago because I was suffering from severe anxiety causing me physical symptoms. They recommended counselling and gave me a number for the counselling service. I had a telephone evaluation and they offered me some sessions but again I had to be put on a waiting list for a place but it only took 2 months so not bad. Different areas may have shorter or longer waiting times though. My counselling is CBT which I specifically asked for because I think it will help me more than a talking therapy. Go and see your GP and ask them if you feel it would be useful for you.

      Another bit of good news to share with you all. I got a call yesterday from a housing provider offering me a flat!!! It’s the one we really wanted so I am so pleased. When I told my son, he hugged me and said he was so happy and he can’t wait. It’s not a done deal yet, still got to go through the paperwork and go to the viewing but I will definitely take it. It will be ready in a few weeks so between now and then I am going to be brutal with my stuff and throw away anything I don’t need so it’s easier to move. I am getting quietly excited, our new lives will soon begin. I was so glad to see the back of last year, it was the worst year of my life, but this year means new beginnings and hopefully better times.

      Now all I need is to persuade my son to return to school for the last few months….

      • #8068
        mixed-up mum

        I am SO PLEASED that you have almost got the flat you wanted – fresh start – new home – new life!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

        I don’t have a DV support worker, or indeed any support, other than from you lovely ladies on here.

        This is the trouble, I’m awake, and up and its almost 3-30am, this is my lonely time, I sit her thinking, and just want a cuddle,and to be told its all going to be OK, I want to snuggle up next to someone, and feel loved and protected, but who is here to listen and reassure me at 3-30am……..

        Is Pat Cravens book a big one – I have never read a book in 30 years, and it would be a bit daunting, if its huge?? Would it be hard to understand, for a person as uneducated as me??

        I’m just so,so very quiet, and won’t open my mouth in a group, I just always feel what I have to say is of so little importance and so insignificant that no one would want to listen to what I would have to say. I have always felt that, even in my school days, way before I met my abuser.

        I have never been to my GP since leaving my ex and so she does not know my history, I don’t know if she would automatically refer me for counselling, or would I have to ask??

        Good luck with the packing I’m so excited for you – its a brilliant feeling to finally have your own place, your new home, a place to be safe in, and a place to make lots of happy memories in.

        Happy for you 🙂 x*x 🙂

    • #8063
      Main Moderator

      Congratulations Doglover99, you deserve that flat. You can put your energy into making it a safe, peaceful home for you and your children.

      Best wishes


      Forum Moderator

    • #8069

      Hi again mixed-up-mum, Reading your post, you sound like you have lost all your self confidence and self esteem. Maybe you should be brave and go to your GP, tell her what’s been going on and how you are feeling. Counselling might well be good for you and bring you some confidence back. It certainly helps to talk to people. I don’t know what I would have done without my support worker. I’ve been meeting up with her for most of last year every few weeks and she’s been helping me with housing and general advice and she’s just been a massive support. I don’t have any family nearby, in fact my family don’t know about any of this so it will come as a big shock to them when I tell them. So my support worker has been the only real support for me.

      The book is only small, more like a booklet and it’s very easy to read. I’m sure you would be able to manage it just fine. I got it through Amazon because the local book shops don’t seem to have anything related to domestic violence on their shelves. You could try your local library as well, they might be able to order it in for you if they don’t have it.

      I hope you managed to get some sleep in the end. Sending you big hugs. xx

      • #8123
        mixed-up mum

        Hi Doglover, and thank you once again for taking the time to read my last post, and reply to me, means a lot. 🙂

        The thing is with me, I never did have much self-confidence and if I did ever have any, the years of abuse with him eroded any I ever had…..which left me with such low self-esteem.
        After (detail removed by moderator) yrs of marriage, how do I ever get back to the person I once was……

        I have had to manage on my own from 6mth out, my support worker left, and after that I got forgotten about, and left on my own to cope….
        They constantly seem to have staff leaving at my local WA, (I know this because my daughter received support from the childrens support worker up until 6mth ago, and 3 or 4 members of staff left in that time) so when they leave there seems to be no continuity of support. That’s when I turned to you ladies on here as I missed out do much on support.
        As I’ve said before I’ve never told my doctor anything, Id find it very hard to walk in and jist tell her my history in a 10min appointment.

        I will try and see if I can find that book on Amazon.

        Thanks ♥ x*x ♥

    • #8094

      You deserve all the good things that are coming to you
      a place that you want is so cool
      I am so happy for you
      Big hugs xx

    • #8097

      congratulations hun so happy for u x*x

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