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    • #13137
      Starmoon
      Participant

      This is such a mixed up mess.. I known this is the wrong place for half of what I need help over but I wouldn’t be here at all if it wasn’t for him- I’m desperate for someone to talk to and to. Because of my brake down last year I was assigned a ‘support worker’ but because there’s no one permentant available, I’ve now had three ‘temps’ the first was lovely. The second arrived in the middle of a situation.. He’d left me again, been verbally abusive, caused big dramas and thrown things at me. She decided she had to report this to social services who did a caf (what ever that is?!). My health visitor and eldest childs school confirmed I’m a brilliant mum and they always come first and are happy.
      I started seeing him again but kept our relationship and his with the children separate. They don’t see us together and don’t see us argue! I’m protecting them and I never cry in front of them. Only something awful has happened. I’m in such a situation. My support worker should be who I talk to… But I can’t trust them now. What I’m about to have to face is going to be horrific but I can’t ask anyone for any help and I have to some how bottle it all up without braking. I want to say what it is on here but I think it will be deleted as it may be too identifying or Persial?

    • #13142
      godschild
      Participant

      Hi starmoon, do you want to send me a private message saying what is so bad, I am very confidential and have just seen your desperate plea for support, feel free to send me a private message if you want to x

    • #13146
      Serenity
      Participant

      So sorry to hear something bad has happened. This is a safe place. I hope you get the help you need X

    • #13151
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hi HUn
      Hope u r ok, we all will try to help u, it is safe to post on here or alternativeley private message me or godschild or someone else u many have previously chatted to on here that u get on with , please dont bottle it up, talk to us so we can help u

    • #13163
      Nemo
      Participant

      Hi Starmoon, feel free to PM me too ❤

      I get the inclination that i’ve been in a very similar situation to you. And i also know a lot about CAF (although revealing how would potentially reveal my identity) – but i’m happy to chat via private message xx ({}) Hugs

    • #13165
      shine bright 2
      Participant

      hi star moon,
      I’ve been through a lot of this kind of stuff. My children are on a child protection plan coz of things they saw even though I thought I was protecting them. Feel free to send me a message

    • #13175
      Starmoon
      Participant

      It’s such a sensitive subject and I’m scared to say what in case it means people will no longer talk to me on here.. It’s really not a situation i want to be in. I just don’t have anyone to turn to. He hasn’t done anything wrong. It’s just that I need to some how keep it all together and not let myself brake or let my feelings show because my support worker will contact social services. Why aren’t i allowed to be a normal person that’s effected by things that happy anymore. This all started well over a year ago when I called the police over something he’d done. If I’d never called the police or asked for help then I’d be allowed to be normal :,(

    • #13176
      Starmoon
      Participant

      Also I’m at the stage where I’m begging him not to leave me as I can’t go threw this alone. I don’t think I’ll survive it but if I brake even once I will lose my kids

    • #13179
      Starmoon
      Participant

      I did try to private msg but don’t know if it’s worked. X

    • #13212
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hi Hun, best thing to do is if some one u tryin to message on here from your post , click on there name around the circle on left and u should be able to send them private message, another way to check is on the right hand corner click on where it say how are are u star moon, click on messages, then on sent , should bring up who u messaged. YOu can do this on your own hun, u just feeling scared at moment , i would post on here, we not here to judge u just to offer u support

    • #13223
      Starmoon
      Participant

      Confused 123.. I can see you’ve emailed me but for some reason I’m unable to even open the message. It’s driving me to distraction. Either I’m being completely thick and there is some obscure way of opening it that I’m missing 😫 Or there’s something wrong with the site? I’m logged on via my phone which is my only access. I clicked on your name earlier and then clicked on the private msg button that came up… Your name was highlighted above the recipient/to box but I tried typing your name in the box and got nothing. So in the hope that it would send to you anyway, I wrote out a msg and pressed send… It sent but there’s nothing in my sent box. There’s your email in my inbox but when I tap on it to open it, there appears to be no opening it. There’s no other obvious way of opening it so I’m at a loss as to what to do lol

    • #13229
      shine bright 2
      Participant

      hi star moon,
      you sound so much like me a while ago. I ended up wishing that I hadn’t told children’s services anything…..wishing I hadn’t even reported the violence and feeling I’d made a huge mistake and couldn’t function without him.I was beyond clueless.he made sure of that. He took me to work in the morning and picked me up in the evening. He chose when I ate and slept and chose who I could see.
      I’m not gonna lie it’s been hard. Really hard. move lost family and friends and face uncertainties alone.
      you say there is something terrible. Well let me confess to you. I allowed my children to see an experience horrific things because I knew I couldn’t survive without him. One time when we were in holiday I saw him line up my beautiful kids and pull a cord out of the iron and wrap it round his hand like you would a belt and try and make them own up to something that was broken….This was the same method that he used on me, that scarred me. He didn’t hit them because I intervened but they were scared sane as they were scared when they saw him hit me. They have told social worker about things that they saw and heard, that I didn’t know. I still have my kids….because I am no longer with him.
      You sound like a great mum….you can do this. No one can tell you who should be with but if it’s abound being able to survive..you can. I did…little ole me who wasn’t even allowed to go shopping alone.

    • #13267
      kestral
      Participant

      I don’t know what CAF stands for but I think what all of us can relate to on this site is not always being listened to by the RIGHT people. When someone hears your story, understands and VALIDATES what you’re saying then you know you are not alone and you’re not mad, weak or ‘deserving’ of what you’re being subjected to. We ‘humans’ (women) have rights and they are to be heard, listened to, respected, acknowledged, appreciated and more.
      I believe the most difficult thing about abuse is how it puts us…. the ‘victims’… in the wrong. As though somehow being loving, kind, caring, forgiving is a bad thing and why we’re now being abused. Those attributes are not bad. Only total jerks take advantage of that sort of nature. My rather repetitive theme since joining this site is ‘stay strong and stay safe’ but more than anything….believe in you.

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