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How was i meant to know
When i got married and had to go
That i’d still b crying all the time
Apparently loving me for me is a crime
Thought id found family to call my own
But loving me is like taking blood out of a stone
Im always oppressed and feeling insecure
How much more will i have to endure
People just like throwing me around
Stabbing me in the back when im already down
Why does love seem to come easy for all the rest
When im made to feel worthless even when i try my best
How much more am i going to have to take
Until people will leave me alone and give me a break
Why am i made to feel like im nothing
When all i want is to feel like im worth something
Sometimes i just want to curl up n die
Because im just ignored when i scream and cry
Sometimes i feel like I wouldn’t even be missed
Even though im alive i dont feel like I exist
Why does living have to be so hard
The more im here the more im scarred
I just want to live content and in peace
But the more i try, the more the chances decrease
I hate this world and everyone in it
Because its killing me slowly, bit by bit -
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Im sorry to hear that helovesmehesays, this was something i wrote after having a massive argument with hubby when he dissed my dead mother, and called me a (Detail removed by Moderator) and threatened to slap me because i was disrespecting him by raising my voice……..a really sad and dark time for me, my lowest point in my life
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What a beautifully written post, a poem really. I think we can all relate to it, at one point or another we all have gone through this dark place and felt exactly like you described it.
Abusers change tactics, victims, but one thing stays constant; their need to exploit, control and have power over others.
No they never change for anyone, if they change it’s for themselves, to be able to exploit others even better. It’s all about them. -
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Thanks for this WT; it makes me smile, let me explain, when I read this I know you have had to focus your mind while doing it, shows me you can focus your mind on anything when you choose to do so, it also shows me you are giving yourself what you need by engaging with your pain – you are processing and trying to make sense of things – this will take you a few more steps closer to being out on the otherside. It shows us all how so very important it is to express how we feel, even when alone we can do this by writing a letter or poem like yours.
You’ll get there flower, just remember one thing tho, it was never about anything you did, he would have done it all the same, with you, someone else, and the next. You’re lovely just the way you are. Do only what feels right for you now – always x
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