Something positive I noticed and felt last night

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Hello lovely ladies. I met with a friend last night and I noticed something really positive. I kept saying to her it’s so relaxed it’s so relaxed. There were not a lot of people around and I realised afterwards it’s because I was constantly on edge with him. I have forgotten how it really feels to be in tune with yourself. Not anymore! I cannot tell you how well I feel now mentally my state of mind improves as time goes on I get inner strength and inner self belief as time goes on. I’m in double figures for my luxurious holiday. Post-abuse life is very difficult piecing your life, yourself and trying to remember who you are, what you want in life and what you believe in is not easy. You feel that you’ve left but get annoyed thinking how can I be struggling? But the only way when you’re down is up just trust and believe in yourself I am living proof that you can do it! X

[Falling Skys]

Hi great post thank you for sharing. I went to a do last night and had a lovely time of he had been there I would have been on edge and left early or not have gone at aĺl. Everyone was so happy I forgot what it was like to be out without an atmosphere.

Here’s to the future we deserve

FS xx

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Thank you that’s ok. Oh wow go you! That’s exactly how life should be we have totally forgotten which is shocking! Abuse completely clouds every judgement that you have but when you’re out of it you remember things and feel things you forgot about.

I did have a wobble today. I saw some family members of his and it was so triggering. But, I have now realised that they are nothing like him and have nothing to do with him. They are happy without him in their lives and they are ashamed of him. They are proof that life can be happy and positive without abuse. I realised that his step siblings from one of his parents second marriage would have been a part of our lives and I would have done so much for them but it’s his loss! He wasn’t capable of having the normal wonderful things that we enjoy in life because he’s not normal!

I have a lot of love inside me and I’m going to start by loving myself. That starts with a face mask and painting my nails when I’ve done my jobs! Good riddance to bad rubbish!

X

[Malaya]

Fantastic posts and thank you!!

I need to hear that it is possible to get through the trauma and start to enjoy living life. i see little glimpses of it, like how well I get on with my family now and how much more I laugh when I’m with my girl friends, not constantly worrying about getting back to him etc

You are an inspiration and as you say living proof that it can be done. Even when you describe your wobble, it doesn’t sound as though it dragged you right down and triggered loads of stuff. It sounds like you’ve come so far it only made you wobble and not fall down

So pleased for you xx

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Thank you my lovely 😊. It’s difficult because he looks very much like these family members and I can’t handle it! I avoid a certain place as I know I’ll bump into them there and because he looks like them I find it so triggering I can’t explain it. It isn’t their fault I know and they don’t have anything to do with him as they realised themselves he’s a loser actually a lot quicker than I did so it isn’t as bad as I think it is but nevertheless it’s still difficult!

It honestly is possible I put a face mask on candles on in my room and turned it into my sanctuary. I have also booked my exercise classes for next week it’s now time to get in shape for our amazing out of this world holiday. Once we have paid our holiday we are having a weekend in London early next year going to see one of our favourite shows! Nothing is stopping me now I chose to live the life I lead not him not anyone!

I know exactly what you mean about laughing with family and friends even more. I also help my mum man out with things a lot more and that’s bringing us closer together she can see that side even more from me now. All people are not bad I’m not going to become cynical abusers are bad not the world! The world didn’t hurt me he did!

I think I’m too positive and too happy all the time lollll I walk around the house singing and dancing in a funny way 💃 lol I’m like that in the shower too but I’m a cheerful person I’m back and I’m here to stay! Why should I not live life to the fullest? You only have one chance at it it isn’t a crime to laugh and be happy (only to abusers it is of course pathetic or what!) I can totally be myself now with friends and family before I was hiding a terrible secret something so dark so so dark but now all I speak and feel is lightness I know what light at the end of the tunnel truly means.

I put a lovely face mask on changed my bedsheets and showered and I know I will have the best nights sleep. I was napped in the day I always allow myself rest I give my body and mind time out it deserves it! Thank you for your lovely words they mean a lot. I will honesty become a better person than I was before from this and treat those around me with even more love and respect before (only if they deserve it). I’m learning to be selective with who receives my love as I’ve now come to realise how selfish people can really be in this world and I’m not going to be as caring now everyone doesn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of my kindness!

As for another husband…no chance I’m thinking of me, myself be I and that’s the way it’s staying for a while! I’m going to truly fall in love with myself and change my lifestyle. I will also be very selective in what I tell future dates and partners. Abuse is a very personal thing my parents and God knows the absolute truth. I will tell guys when it gets to the point where I need to that yes I have been married before but my husband killed our marriage with his ego, his selfish behaviour but I am not going to speak badly of him to anyone because that isn’t my style and I will certainly not go into the ins and outs with anyone and if that isn’t what he wants then see you I’ll find someone whose ready to accept me for who I am. I’m not going to sit here and ask for their autobiographies, who they’ve slept with, what they did in bed so what gives a man the right to question me?? What I have said above should be enough and I’ll explain my parents and I have decided we will not be speaking badly about him he can say what he likes about me but we do not behave in that way. If he can’t take my word for it then he’s not worth it.

Ladies please do not explain yourself to anyone you don’t have to especially not another man. Be very very careful who you divulge what to okay? If someone can’t move to a different stage of their lives with you because they want to know the intimate details of your past they aren’t worth it. When you meet guys what you do is show them who you are abs how wonderful you are! Don’t let abuse define who you are! It’s something very very private and keep it that way. You will soon figure out who is worth your time, love, care and attention.

Xxxx

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