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You got out, tried to tell others your story, desperate for help.
The more you tell the crazier it seems to others, labelled a liar because the is no documentation.
However understanding why they believe the lies, as one day you believed them too.
Someday, you want to run, you can’t take another day, what ever it maybe.
Seeing your children hurting, how much worse can it possibly be,
“It’s because of your anxieties, your passing them onto your children.”
This is what you hear from the social worker who you hope would see the truth.
You believe the social workers lies too, want to hide more, the abuse continues as he used to blame you as well, “your been to sensitive it’s all YOU, YOU, YOU.”
so you lose yourself more into the madness.
However you have to believe and see, show you, prove to yourself and fight through.
let them call you, as you are strong, you are worthy, stand tall like the trees and believe.
Remember who you are, you might be still living this craziness, however you are free.
You can build your space to work on you, figure out once more, what is really you.
Remember what it is like to have feelings, as you were once like a robot with none.
Your life is an adventure with challenges ahead,
Be you, Be true and remember how far you have come.
Run through the fields of the slippery sludgy mud, have mud fights on the way.
Dress up and laugh, feel free to cry, as this is healing as well, having feeling’s is normal.
Giving hugs is so good, having friends, been part of celebrations that I don’t have to sit and say nothing, allowed to make conversations, as I am part of it too.
Crying with laughter, feeling so relaxed like a different person at peace.
At times it can crumble at the things your children are saying,
however you are working on you, which is working on them.
The guilt, and the pressure that can come upon you as been a parent, however in these situations you are doing your best. However your not listened too, you take this and it becomes the new norm.
Remember you are worthy, you are great and deserve happiness too.
sometimes we don’t always see what the other person is thinking, and the decisions they have come to and why.
Keep been true to yourself and everyone, even if they are against you, they will see in the end,
Just know your doing your very best, specially on the day’s you don’t even want to get out of bed.
you are doing another day, you are taking the next steps, on this challenging path that lays ahead.
sing with all your soul, dance with all your might, let your prayers be heard and the Lord shine bright.
If you have breath in your lungs you will keep going, no one can stop you, no matter how hard, you are doing this.BE YOU.
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Thanks everyone, I was having an emotional time when I wrote it, absolutely tired out and drained however I will keep going. I’m not in that relationship anymore. I got out which he said I would be classed as the crazy woman and he would have the children taken from me. Yes my children are in care with me, my eldest ran from the situation she could cope as it really affected her mental health. This was a very hard time as she hit her brother as well so I felt torn between my children too. I got a tattoo to try feel something anything and a promise to my father and myself, I see it everyday it was my lowest point ever. my daughter is now in touch and she is having counselling and is on antidepressants and sleeping tablets. however she misses us like mad, and doesn’t want to leave when she visits. my son is struggling the same way she did how I know I have to stay strong and fight harder, i’m not sure how though at the minute I’m taking each day. I think he expected me to have failed by now. if it wasn’t for my Christianity I would of cracked up by now. Praise the Lord, I love who I am slowly becoming again, doing thing’s and the wondering why I even doubted it. however the doubt comes in and I say things like how did you let this happen again.
remember to be kind, give your self time to heal. this as been (detail removed by moderator) years for me a lot of downs and he lot of ups.
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