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For over 20yrs I wasn’t me
In (removed by moderator) i found myself
I found the courage to speak out, after meeting the perfect partner.No one told me when I was young the rights an wrongs in a relationship, you literally just fell in love then got married.
No one told me it was wrong for that person to chip away at me an slowly try to destroy me by constant negative remarks
No one told me it was wrong to let their friends look at me naked, when I was sleeping.
No one told me it wrong when this person said I had to have sex with his friends while they watched.
No one told me it was wrong when private naked photos of me was aired to their friends without my permission.
No one told me when I refused the seedy sexual demands it would end in the silent treatment for days on end, making me feel worthless
No one told me it was wrong for this person to drug me for sexual entertainment for their circle of friends.
No one told me it was wrong to turn down their sexual advances, then making me sleep on the floor as punishment
No one told me that this was wrong when I was awoken by them on top of me during the middle of the night having sex with me.
This was repeated on a weekly, monthly basis for over 20yrs
No one told me this was wrong, this is not love this is abuse!
Please speak out, you are not alone
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Hi Shootingstar,
Welcome to the forum, and thank you for sharing your experiences. We know this isn’t an easy thing to do, but know this is a safe space where other women here will empathise with you. Your story will also be inspiring to others who have yet to take that step in leaving.
It’s always uplifting to hear when women manage to leave their abusive relationship and moreover, start anew. Again, thank you for highlighting that it is possible even seemingly against all odds.
You’ve mentioned you are now in a stable and loving relationship, but if you haven’t had any specialist emotional support already and wish to, you may want to access free online courses created by or in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma at Bloom. These courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace and cover topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries. Rape Crisis specialise in sexual assault and abuse, past or present, and may be a source of support as well.
All the best,
Lisa
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Thanks Lisa, (removed by moderator) had my story years ago with women’s aid. I’ve attended a few conferences and courses etc over the last few years. (removed by moderator) helped me when I first spoke out. I literally wrote this the other morning when I was thinking of coming back to women’s aid and helping others. Thanks to you all xx
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